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Some people the bas situation

Some people the bas situation PVqwE
Faced with adverse situations, some people with a pessimistic attitude adopt no measures while optimistic adults choose to change them. I support the idea that individuals should make efforts to improve negative conditions. On the one hand, a lack of courage can justify the claim that bad circumstances should be acceptable. Some individuals who are afraid of the unknown would rather maintain the status quo than strive for an uncertain yet brighter future. For example, working adults in a dead-end industry often struggle with financial problems due to low income and high living expenses but never dare to pursue a degree in another area like computer science, an industry that can provide high-paying positions. This can be explained by the fear of unemployment for a long time and the inability to cover necessities and support their family brought by risks of the time and energy needed for transforming their industries. On the other hand, optimistic individuals would like to change temporary adversity because they believe their efforts will pay off eventually. The long-term struggle is more likely to produce positive outcomes. For example, if a student poor in math decides to take active measures such as completing exercises with reflections on mistaken ones and drawing upon the learning experience of his classmates performing better in this discipline, he can probably gain a higher score in the final exam. This cannot be achieved without any arduous work to improve his knowledge and skills in this subject. In my view, it is better for those who aspire to a hopeful life to make alterations to bad circumstances. A boost in current harsh conditions can only be gained by ceaseless striving but will never come to us automatically. For instance, young people troubled by a limited budget may consider attending some online courses to develop new skills, getting a pay rise brought by competitive advantages over other colleagues and stronger working ability to satisfy the needs of their clients. These benefits are the result of exerting themselves rather than the acceptance of low pay. In conclusion, an improvement in terrible circumstances should be made by optimistic individuals with the hope of a better future while it is also understandable for those who are timid to leave the original unpleasant situations.
Faced with adverse situations,
some
people
with a pessimistic attitude adopt no measures while optimistic adults choose to
change
them. I support the
idea
that
individuals
should
make
efforts to
improve
negative
conditions.

On the one hand, a lack of courage can justify the claim that
bad
circumstances should be acceptable.
Some
individuals
who are afraid of the unknown would
rather
maintain the status quo than strive for an uncertain
yet
brighter future.
For example
, working adults in a dead-
end
industry
often
struggle with financial problems due to low income and high living expenses
but
never dare to pursue a degree in another area like computer science, an industry that can provide high-paying positions. This can be
explained
by the fear of unemployment for a long time and the inability to cover necessities and support their family brought by
risks
of the time and energy needed for transforming their industries.

On the other hand
, optimistic
individuals
would like to
change
temporary adversity

because
they believe their efforts will pay off
eventually
. The long-term struggle is more likely to produce
positive
outcomes.
For example
, if a student poor in math decides to take active measures such as completing exercises with reflections on mistaken ones and drawing upon the learning experience of his classmates performing better in this discipline, he can
probably
gain a higher score in the final exam. This cannot
be achieved
without any arduous work to
improve
his knowledge and
skills
in this subject.

In my view, it is better for those who aspire to a hopeful life to
make
alterations to
bad
circumstances. A boost in
current
harsh conditions can
only
be gained
by ceaseless striving
but
will never
come
to us
automatically
.
For instance
, young
people
troubled by a limited budget may consider attending
some
online courses to develop new
skills
, getting a pay rise brought by competitive advantages over other colleagues and stronger working ability to satisfy the needs of their clients. These benefits are the result of exerting themselves
rather
than the acceptance of low pay.

In conclusion
, an improvement in terrible circumstances should
be made
by optimistic
individuals
with the hope of a better future while it is
also
understandable for those who are timid to
leave
the original unpleasant situations.
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IELTS essay Some people the bas situation

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
377 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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