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Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and school should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and school should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. 0JoG
It is recommended by some people due to the fact that there are some children who underestimate study and work situations, they ought to work for a short period of time besides learning academic topics. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this argument and I believe the students can be benefited doing so. First of all, the children must become aware of life's difficulties. what I mean is that as one grows up, he/she needs to take life more seriously, and to do so he/she must have experienced a quite similar environment. Consequently, the child finally gains some experience about adults' complicated world and at least can prepare himself/herself on his/her mind. That's why I think the combination of work and study for children can be beneficial to them and must take place as soon as possible. secondly, in spite of the fact that studying and working both are time-consuming tasks, the mixture of these duties can make the child learn how to manage different responsibilities and try to achieve multiple goals at the same time. For instance, there were a lot of scientists all over the world who worked and studied not just for a short time but for most of their life and have been finally successful in their careers. There I believe in the idea of short working besides studying. By way of conclusion, I once again restate my position that working for an abbreviated duration can improve the child's view of the world around him/her and also revolutionize his/her abilities in management.
It
is recommended
by
some
people
due to the fact that there are
some
children who underestimate study and work situations, they ought to work for a short period of time
besides
learning academic topics. In my opinion, I
strongly
agree
with this argument and I believe the students can
be benefited
doing
so
.
First of all
, the children
must
become aware of life's difficulties.
what
I mean is that as one grows up, he/she needs to take life more
seriously
, and to do
so
he/she
must
have experienced a quite similar environment.
Consequently
, the child
finally
gains
some
experience about adults' complicated world and at least can prepare himself/herself on his/her mind. That's why I
think
the combination of work and study for children can be beneficial to them and
must
take place as
soon
as possible.
secondly
,
in spite of
the fact that studying and working both are time-consuming tasks, the mixture of these duties can
make
the child learn how to manage
different
responsibilities and try to achieve multiple goals at the same time.
For instance
, there were
a lot of
scientists all over the world who worked and studied not
just
for a short time
but
for most of their life and have been
finally
successful in their careers. There I believe in the
idea
of short working
besides
studying. By way of conclusion, I once again restate my position that working for an abbreviated duration can
improve
the child's view of the world around him/her and
also
revolutionize his/her abilities in management.
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IELTS essay Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and school should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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