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Many people keep dogs and cats as companies. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of the pet ownership for the animals involved and for the community as a whole.

Many people keep dogs and cats as companies. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of the pet ownership for the animals involved and for the community as a whole. Pqmp
Nowadays, Many people are very busy with their job, Whereas they have a family who accompany them, However, most of them keep dogs and cats as companion, there are many advantages and disadvantages of pet ownership, but disadvantages outweigh the advantages. One of the advantages is security, pets, dogs or cats can be a guard for keepng our house from robber, they also give us signal when there are someone who come in our house without permission, therefore, we will fell safety from robber. On the other hand, Altough pets can be security for our house we should spend much money for taking care and feeding them. Every years, pets certain need a food for grow up, and it will be duty for ownership to care over time. Thus, indirectly we spent much money just for pets, in contrast, if one month we give a security fee only about Rp 1. 5 billion but Rp 2 billion should be spent by ownership for taking and feeding the pet Furthermore, the other benefits of pet ownership is entertainment, when pet ownership go home from their job, playing with their pets could be stress relief for them due to the job bustle. But in most couses, cats and dogs can give a infectious disease to the ownership, there are foxo in cat and rabies in dog. advisable we are doing other sterss relief but we are more safety than we get stress relief from pets which giving us infectious disease. In conclude, Due to the advantages of keeping pets have the weakness, the advantages of keep dogs and cats as companion outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy with their job, Whereas they have a family who accompany them,
However
, most of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
and cats as companion, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of pet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
is security,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
or cats can be a guard for
Possible spelling mistake found.
keepng
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
from robber, they
also
give us signal when there are someone who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
without permission,
therefore
, we will
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
fell
safety from robber.
On the other hand
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Altough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
can be security for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
we should spend much money for taking care and feeding them. Every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "year"?
years
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
certain need
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "food".
a food
for grow up, and it will be duty for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
to care over time.
Thus
,
indirectly
we spent much money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
,
in contrast
, if one month we give a security fee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rp
1. 5 billion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rp
2 billion should
be spent
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
for taking and feeding the pet

Furthermore
, the other benefits of pet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
is entertainment, when pet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
go home from their job, playing with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
relief for them due to the job bustle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in most
Possible spelling mistake found.
couses
, cats and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
can give
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
infectious disease to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
foxo
in cat and rabies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dog
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
advisable
we are doing other
Possible spelling mistake found.
sterss
relief
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we are more safety than we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
relief from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
which giving us infectious disease.

In conclude, Due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
have the weakness, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
and cats as companion outweigh the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Many people keep dogs and cats as companies. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of the pet ownership for the animals involved and for the community as a whole.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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