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Some people suggest that bringing up children by the whole family including uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only parents.

Some people suggest that bringing up children by the whole family including uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only parents. DaAGW
Some families prefer to live as a majority. The reason is that living with grandparents, grandmothers, uncles and aunts brings tremendous benefits to the upbringing of young people. And I believe it. Personally, I note that this is an excellent prospect for the growth of a child. There are also many who support me in my opinion. First, babies learn a lot in the family. To explain this, young people can share the values of each person with close relatives. For example, in our country there are such families that they live together, are kind and dear to each other. In addition, if one of the young people falls into a harmful plague, then the family-members support it. At the same time, they help him. In addition, children can receive help not only from their parents, but also from relatives. As a result, it improves the growth and upbringing of the younger generation. And confidence in themselves will grow. Well, children who live alone are quite different from children who live as a family. Because, young children living alone can feel lonely, and this will certainly have a bad effect on their rise. To prevent this, it is necessary to give them solitude and encouragement. Some countries have a depressed state of adult loneliness and are forced to take harmful steps. As an example, they can commit suicide because of sadness, and we have witnessed a lot of this. According to statistics, 12% of young people around the world commit suicide because of loneliness and melancholy. And this is a very bad indicator, which is not all, it can have a bad impact on the development of the future generation. In the end, it can be said that young people receive great benefits when they live together in a joint family, which reduces the stress level of young children and studies the values of others, so this type of life can be good for the development of young people.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
as a majority. The reason is that living with grandparents, grandmothers, uncles and aunts brings tremendous benefits to the upbringing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. And I believe it.
Personally
, I note that this is an excellent prospect for the growth of a child. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who support me in my opinion.

First
, babies learn a lot in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can share the values of each person with close relatives.
For example
, in our country there are such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together, are kind and dear to each other.
In addition
, if one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
falls into a harmful plague, then the family-members support it. At the same time, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can receive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from their parents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
from relatives.
As a result
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the growth and upbringing of the younger generation. And confidence in themselves will grow.

Well,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone are quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
living alone can feel lonely, and this will
certainly
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on their rise. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this, it is necessary to give them solitude and encouragement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
countries have a depressed state of adult loneliness and
are forced
to take harmful steps. As an example, they can commit suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of sadness, and we have witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
this. According to statistics, 12% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world commit suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of loneliness and melancholy. And this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
indicator, which is not all, it can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on the development of the future generation.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
receive great benefits when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together in a joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and studies the values of others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this type of life can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Some people suggest that bringing up children by the whole family including uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only parents.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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