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some people suggest higher education should be funded by the government, while others think students should pay the course fees themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people suggest higher education should be funded by the government, while others think students should pay the course fees themselves. WYqjN
Nowadays, many hold the view that government has the duty of funding higher education. However, there is a body of opinion which claims that students should pay their course fees by themselves. In this essay I will discuss both sides of the debate to seek a conclusion. To begin with, it is undeniable that free higher education can make universities more accessible to students, since it can allow those good students from poor families to receive further education. In addition, free education can boost national employment. To be specific, college education is to help students gain employment skills, such as professional knowledge and social skills When more students study at college, there will be more qualified graduates who will find jobs easily in the future. On the other hand, however, paying the tuition fees by the students can reduce the economic stress on the government, which can invest more funds in other important aspects, such as medical care and environment protection. Moreover, students can enjoy better education service, for schools may have more money when students pay for their courses. This increased revenue can be used to improve education quality, including hiring excellent teachers and purchasing state-of-the-art facilities. To sum up, there is no doubt that governments paying the fees allows more students to have access to universities and boost country's employment. At the same time, however, students paying the fee reduces government's economic burden and have opportunities to enjoy better education service. In the final analysis, therefore, one can safely conclude that students should pay course fees by themselves.
Nowadays,
Possible agreement error. The noun hold seems to be countable; consider using: "many holds".
many hold
the view that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has the duty of funding higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
However
, there is a body of opinion which claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should pay their course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
by themselves. In this essay I will discuss both sides of the debate to seek a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is undeniable that free higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
universities more accessible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, since it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from poor families to receive
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
In addition
, free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can boost national employment. To be specific, college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain employment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as professional knowledge and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
When more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study at college, there will be more qualified graduates who will find jobs
easily
in the future.

On the other hand
,
however
, paying the tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the economic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, which can invest more funds in other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects, such as medical care and environment protection.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can enjoy better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
service, for schools may have more money when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pay for their courses. This increased revenue can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
quality, including hiring excellent teachers and purchasing state-of-the-art facilities.

To sum up, there is no doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
paying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have access to universities and boost country's employment. At the same time,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
paying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's economic burden and have opportunities to enjoy better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
service. In the final analysis,
therefore
, one can
safely
conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should pay course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
by themselves.
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IELTS essay some people suggest higher education should be funded by the government, while others think students should pay the course fees themselves.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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