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People from poor rural areas often have difficulty getting into good universities. Therefore, universities should make it easier for these people to be accepted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People from poor rural areas often have difficulty getting into good universities. Therefore, universities should make it easier for these people to be accepted. 9r6Jn
The majority of individuals who live in a less populated areas are having a hard time to save money for higher education and get accepted by high ranked universities. Because of this situation, numerous people argue that universities make exceptions for these people. I think that the government should support rural areas's schools and help the students to apply and accept by universities. It is a known fact that rural areas have less highschools and teachers than urban areas. Because of this, students have to learn subjects in highly crowded classrooms and this situation affects students' and teachers' motivation negatively. Therefore, students can not get enough grades to get into popular universities. Moreover, because in rural areas people have few income sources, parents of these children can not afford extra curricular activities and university fees for their kids. To help these unlucky students, high ranked universities must create special quotas and give these people scholarships. Although these solutions seem logical in theory, they might not work in real life. I believe that the government has a lot of duties to help these students in rural areas. Instead of prioritize them to get into universities, authorities should increase the quality of education in these areas and offer several programs of different activities. In this way, students can attend their classes stress free, develop their skills and have better chances to accept into good universities. To conclude, students who live in less crowded areas do not have access to quality education and extra curricular activities like the students who live in urban cities. Therefore, a high percentage of these people can not get their higher education in good universities. To solve this issue, the government should pay attention to education in rural areas and support these students and their families financially.
The majority of individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a less populated
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "area"?
areas
are having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time to save money for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by high ranked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
Because of this
situation, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
exceptions for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
Did you mean "area's" or "areas'"?
areas's
schools and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to apply and accept by universities.

It is a known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have less
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschools
and teachers than urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Because of this
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn subjects in
The extreme adjective for crowded is "packed".
highly crowded
classrooms and this situation affects students' and teachers' motivation
negatively
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
grades to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have few income sources, parents of these children can not afford
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
activities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
fees for their kids. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these unlucky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, high ranked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
create special quotas and give these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
scholarships.

Although these solutions seem logical in theory, they might not work in real life. I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
duties to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Instead
of prioritize them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, authorities should increase the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and offer several programs of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can attend their classes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free, develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and have better chances to accept into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
universities.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in less crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
do not have access to quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
activities like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in urban cities.
Therefore
, a high percentage of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. To solve this issue, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pay attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and support these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their families
financially
.
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IELTS essay People from poor rural areas often have difficulty getting into good universities. Therefore, universities should make it easier for these people to be accepted.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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