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• Describe a time you had to wait in line (queue up) for a long time

• Describe a time you had to wait in line (queue up) for a long time PWL0X
I am gonna be talking about a time when I waited in the queur for a long time. It happened about five years ago, so that, my family and I decidaded to go to the Paris and we packed all necessary things for us such as clothes, mobile phones and so on. , following this further, I wen to the railway station to book the tickets because the online service was not working. When I reached the station, I saw 50 people already standing in the queue, and I was on 51 positions, besides that, the ticket officer was working very slowly and took 10 to 15 minutes for each ticket, also I stood for approximately more than two hours because the officer took 20 minutes extra to drink tea, in this case, I felt starving and despondent, fortunately, the majority of people forsake the station, so, they did not eager to stand in there and their face seemed very aggressive, thus, I could derive tickets. I thought management was quite poor at the railway station because they had only one ticket counter, if they made two ticket counter, they could easily manage the crowd and save people’s precious time.
I am
The word 'gonna' is informal. Consider an alternative.
gonna
be talking about a time when I waited in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
queur
for a long time. It happened about five years ago,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, my family and I
Possible spelling mistake found.
decidaded
to go to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Paris and
we packed all necessary things for us such as clothes, mobile phones and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
following this
further
,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'I'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
I wen
to the railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
to book the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the online service was not working. When I reached the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
50
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
already standing in the queue, and I was on 51 positions,
besides
that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
officer was working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slowly
and took 10 to 15 minutes for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
,
also
I stood for approximately more than two hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the officer took 20 minutes extra to drink tea,
in this case
, I felt starving and despondent,
fortunately
, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
forsake the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they did not eager to stand in there and their face seemed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
aggressive,
thus
, I could derive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
management was quite poor at the railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
counter, if they made two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
counter, they could
easily
manage the crowd and save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s precious time.
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IELTS essay • Describe a time you had to wait in line (queue up) for a long time

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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