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Some people state that schools should have a social responsibility to encourage children not to eat junk food. Others believe that parents should take responsibility for their children's eating habits. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Some people state that schools should have a social responsibility to encourage children not to eat junk food. Others believe that parents should take responsibility for their children's eating habits. 7aL2A
People have different opinions who should take responsibility to avoid children to consume fast food. While some people insist that schools are responsible, I believe those who say that parents should take responsibility. Some people claim that schools should be responsible because they can provide various knowledge about the health hazards of unhealthy diets. Since children unaware of the risks of illness that can trigger fast food, they tend to prefer to eat junk food. Some teachers have wide knowledge about the relevance of meals and health hazards, such as obesity and high blood pressure, which means that they can provide accurate information on how unhealthy meals affects their health. By learning the negative influence of unhealthy food, children are willing to stop eating fast food. This is one of the insist that have bolstered the opinion that schools should take responsibility. However, I am of the opinion that parents have more responsibility since they serve food for children. This means that parents’ interest in cuisines affects directly children’s food habits. Even if children are aware of the negatives of fast food, they are inevitable to have food when parents offer unhealthy meals to children. On the contrary, parents can easily control what children eat by providing balanced dishes and restrictions on the amount of fast food. Since parents’ conduct became a deterrent to eating unhealthy food, they have a more significant role. In conclusion, some people claim that schools should take responsibility for children’s food habits through teaching the risks of illness, others believe that parents should be more responsible. In my opinion, since parents can control easily children’s diet with daily meals and restrictions, parents are more responsible.
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People
have
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different
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opinions
who should take responsibility to avoid
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children
to consume
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fast
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food
. While
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some
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people
insist that
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schools
are
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responsible
, I believe those who say that
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parents
should take responsibility.

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Some
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people
claim that
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schools
should be
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responsible
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because
they can provide various knowledge about the health hazards of
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unhealthy
diets. Since
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children
unaware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of illness that can trigger
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fast
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food
, they tend to prefer to eat junk
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food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
teachers have wide knowledge about the relevance of
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meals
and health hazards, such as obesity and high blood pressure, which means that they can provide accurate information on how
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unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
affects their health. By learning the
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negative
influence of
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unhealthy
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food
,
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children
are willing to
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stop
eating
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fast
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food
. This is one of
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the insist
that have bolstered the
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opinion
that
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schools
should take responsibility.

However
, I am of the
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opinion
that
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parents
have more responsibility since they serve
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food
for
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children
. This means that
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parents’
interest in cuisines affects
directly
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children’s
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food
habits. Even if
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children
are aware of the negatives of
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fast
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food
, they are inevitable to have
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food
when
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parents
offer
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unhealthy
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meals
to
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children
.
On the contrary
,
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parents
can
easily
control what
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children
eat by providing balanced dishes and restrictions on the amount of
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fast
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food
. Since
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parents’
conduct became a deterrent to eating
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unhealthy
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food
, they have a more significant role.

In conclusion
,
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some
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people
claim that
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schools
should take responsibility for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habits through teaching the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of illness, others believe that
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parents
should be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, since
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parents
can control
easily
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children’s
diet with daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
and restrictions,
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parents
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
.
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IELTS essay Some people state that schools should have a social responsibility to encourage children not to eat junk food. Others believe that parents should take responsibility for their children's eating habits.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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