Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people spend a lot of money attending culture or sports events it is a good or a bad thing give your opinion and example your own experience

Some people spend a lot of money attending culture or sports events it is a good or a bad thing give your opinion and example your own experience 3gOEN
Nowadays few individual spend huge chunk of money on different entertainment source like as sports events as well as attending culture. Although these events best in order to relief the strees yet popole should spend money on these events some extent. To embark with, many people fond of explore new place and attending the events since they want to know about another country culture and obtain experience as well as knowledge because when people attend the cultural show of another nation so that time they know about another country rituals because every country has different culture and they known by own different rituals and tradition. for instance couple of month ago sports event organised by youth club in our loyctiy and they spend 6 icks on this event even all arrangements was proper. thus now individual spends a lot of money on events just for show off in front of other people if they have enough money so they can save for future because nobody know about future when any will be happened and they can secure to own future with this money as well as save for own childrens. Nevertheless, although events not only best source of breaks motoney as well as stress but also people can acquire knowledge about another country culture. however if people want to spend money on these events so with money they can help of any needy people who can not afford and have not job and children who belong poor families and they want to study but economic condition they can not take better study. moreover hospital would be built in rural areas where people encounter problems regarding to hospital and died just lack of proper treatment. for instance a survey was conducted by canda University which shows that 70% children who can not obtain study owing to economic condition. In conclusion people ought to help of helpless people who can not afford and not fulfill to families needs instead of wastge money on other sources
Nowadays few individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
huge chunk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
entertainment source like as sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Although these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
best in order to relief the
Possible spelling mistake found.
strees
yet
Possible spelling mistake found.
popole
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. To embark with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fond of explore new place and attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
since they want to know about another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and obtain experience as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attend the cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
of another nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that time they know about another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
rituals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
culture and
they known by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
rituals and tradition.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance couple of month ago sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
by youth club in our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
loyctiy and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
6
Possible spelling mistake found.
icks
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
even all arrangements was proper.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off in front of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can save for future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nobody
The pronoun 'nobody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "knows", "knew".
know
about future when any will be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
happened and
they can secure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
future with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
.
Nevertheless
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
best source of breaks
Possible spelling mistake found.
motoney
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can acquire knowledge about another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of any needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can not afford and have not job and children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
belong poor
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
families and
they want to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
economic condition they can not take better study.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
hospital would
be built
in rural areas where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encounter problems
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
hospital and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
lack of proper treatment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance a survey
was conducted
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
canda
University which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 70% children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can not obtain study owing to economic condition.
In conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of helpless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can not afford and not fulfill to families needs
instead
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
wastge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on other
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
sources
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people spend a lot of money attending culture or sports events it is a good or a bad thing give your opinion and example your own experience

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people spend a lot of money attending culture or sports events it is a good or a bad thing give your opinion and example your own experience