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Stress related diseases are in creasing?caises and solutions?

Stress related diseases are in creasing? caises and solutions? KYrXk
Nowadays, people must work hard and lead to stress. Following this stress related disease are in creasing in around the world. in this essay i tend to shed light on some underlying reason leading to problem then put forward my feasible solution On the one hand, stress make people tired or maybe level up is depression. Next the underlying reason behind this is that people work very hard. Following this they too many deadlines and make them pressure. At this point to tackle this problem, people should hang out, they ought to have time for family, meet friends, . . And if they do this they will feel better. On the other hand, they stress from family pressure or even family violence. Nowadays, have many family put a lot of expectations for their children after that children will be pressure. Following this if children do not come up to their family 's expectations they will peer pressure after which make them tired or depression. In korea children study pressure and even many children were suicidal after that they do not stand the pressure. And the way forward might be to do decrease pressure to children. when we feel better we will work effectively. Stress related disease and it is dangerous for everyone To conclude, anxiety, stress and depressive disorders are the result of negligence of people towards their health and they can be mitigated by following sound work-life balance and inclusion of nutritious substance in their diet.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Following
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
related disease are
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in creasing in
around the world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this essay
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
tend to shed light on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
underlying reason leading to problem then put forward my feasible
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
solution


On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tired or maybe level up is depression.
Next
the underlying reason behind this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Following
this they too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
deadlines and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
. At this point to tackle this problem,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should hang out, they ought to have time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
friends
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
And if they do this they will feel better.

On the other hand
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
or even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
violence. Nowadays, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
expectations for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
after that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Following
this if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
's expectations they will peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
after which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them tired or depression. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
korea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were suicidal after that they do not stand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
. And the way forward might be to do decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
we feel better we will work
effectively
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
related disease and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for everyone

To conclude
, anxiety,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and depressive disorders are the result of negligence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they can
be mitigated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
sound work-life balance and inclusion of nutritious substance in their diet.
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IELTS essay Stress related diseases are in creasing? caises and solutions?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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