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Some people soy thot ploying compuler gornes is bod for children, whereos ofhers soy lhol it hos posifiye effecls on lhe woy children develop. Discuss bofh sides ond give your opinion

Some people soy thot ploying compuler gornes is bod for children, whereos ofhers soy lhol it hos posifiye effecls on lhe woy children develop. Discuss bofh sides ond give your opinion 2lnY6
The computer game industry is a part of our world today. From its humble beginnings in the 80s, the video game industry has exploded into a l0-billion dollar empire. lt is a debatable issue whether these games are good or bad. ln this essay, I intend to delve into the pros and cons of these games. I personally believe that these games are good, but only if played in moderation. There are many advantages of playing computer games. To begin with, video games introduce children to computer technology. Secondly, some games provide practice in problem solving and logic, e. g. Age of Empires. Video games have proved to improve visual skills. They also improve motor and spatial skills. Children who play video games have better reflexes. What is more, these modern games make learning fun. The cost of failure is lower. This encourages risk taking and exploration. lf the child gets the answer wrong or their character dies, he just starts the game over and tries again. Finally, some games have therapeutic applications. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of these technological inventions. Firstly, overdependence on these games leads to social isolation, as these are usually played alone. Secondly, some games have violent characters, and seeing their violent acts leads to aggressive behaviour in children. Moreover, these games can confuse reality and fantasy. For example, when children play car-racing games then they may race their own vehicles in real life, which can lead to accidents. Finally, these games are addicting and once a child sits to play these games, time flies and everything else, such as studies and outdoor games are forgotten, which is indubitably bad. To summarise, on the whole these games are very good and certainly their advantages outweigh their disadvantages, but these should be played in balance. Parents should limit the game playing time and see to it that home-work and other important chores are done before playing.
The computer game industry is a part of our world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. From its humble beginnings in the 80s, the video

game industry has exploded into a l0-billion dollar empire.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lt
is a debatable issue whether these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ln
this essay, I intend to delve into the pros and cons of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. I
personally
believe that

these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if played in moderation.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
introduce children to

computer technology.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
provide practice in problem solving and logic,
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
Age of

Empires. Video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have proved to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
visual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
motor and spatial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Children who play video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have better reflexes.

What is more
, these modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
learning fun. The cost of failure is lower. This encourages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk


taking and exploration.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lf
the child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the answer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
or their character
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
the game

over and tries again.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have therapeutic applications.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of these technological inventions.
Firstly
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
overdependence
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
leads to social isolation, as these are
usually
played alone.
Secondly
,

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have violent characters, and seeing their violent acts leads to aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in children.

Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can confuse reality and fantasy.
For example
, when children play car-racing games

then they may race their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles in real life, which can lead to accidents.
Finally
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are

addicting and once a child sits to play these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, time flies and everything else, such as studies and

outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are forgotten
, which is
indubitably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
,
on the whole
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
certainly
their advantages outweigh their

disadvantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these should
be played
in balance. Parents should limit the game playing time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see


to it that home-work and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
chores
are done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
playing.
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IELTS essay Some people soy thot ploying compuler gornes is bod for children, whereos ofhers soy lhol it hos posifiye effecls on lhe woy children develop. Discuss bofh sides ond give your opinion

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people soy thot ploying compuler gornes is bod for children, whereos ofhers soy lhol it hos posifiye effecls on lhe woy children develop. Discuss bofh sides ond give your opinion