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technological devices are affecting human relationships

technological devices are affecting human relationships bDk1B
Technological devices play an important role in today’s world. People from all ages spend a considerable amount of time using devices. Phones and tablets are source of limitless functionally news, entertainment. I personally believe that technological devices are harmful for human relationship because they might lead to increasing isolation and reducing social interaction & social skills. First of all, technological devices harmful for human relationship because they might lead to increasing isolation. People don’t go out a lot and they stay away from friends, family. Technology nowadays is creating family division in each house. In the modern world we face many new mental health problems due to isolation life. As a result they develop problems such as anxiety, fear of death alone. Secondly, technological devices harmful for human relationship because they lead to reducing social interaction&social skills. Social relationships are very important our life in all places. Technology gadgets are poor replacement for face to face interaction with people and varied activities. All a result of an overuse of technology, which has created a wall between many people. In conclusion, Technology gadgets have negative effects on human relationship. They lead to increasing isolation and reducing social interaction. In order to prevent such problems, it is important to limit their screen time to preserve their mental well-being.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from all ages spend a considerable amount of time using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
. Phones and tablets are source of limitless
functionally
news, entertainment. I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
are harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
isolation
and reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
isolation
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
don’t go out a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lot and
they stay away from friends, family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
nowadays is creating family division in each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. In the modern world we face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new mental health problems due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
isolation
life.
As a result
they develop problems such as anxiety, fear of death alone.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Possible spelling mistake found.
interaction&social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
our life in all places.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
gadgets are poor replacement for face to face interaction with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and varied activities. All a result of an overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, which has created a wall between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
gadgets have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
isolation
and reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
such problems, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to limit their screen time to preserve their mental well-being.
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IELTS essay technological devices are affecting human relationships

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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