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There has an active discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of traveling

There has an active discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of traveling D2JM6
There has an active discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of traveling. Although it appears convincing to many people that the young can enhance their experience for travelling to other countries, I lean towards that their time and money may be wasted. It is understandable why trips to foreign lands may squander youngster’s time and money. The first one is time-wasting because they must spend much time booking, planning for this trips and besides they also take time to involve in tours around the city where they come. Therefore, they will have little time to focus on their study or career, which easily deprives them of many opportunities to get promoted. The second one is money-wasted. The price of overseas journeys is exorbitant for the young who are not yet financially confident because they have to take a lot of money to book accommodation abroad. Therefore, this money should have been spent on their personal and professional development to advance their work. There are several reasons why overseas trips are of great importance for young adults to gain more experience. Firstly, they can widen their relationships because they can meet and interact with local people from many different countries so they will have more chances to find a person who has many interests and hobbies with them. As a result, they can have more friends from where they went and lay a foundation dỏ them to become global citizens. Secondly, youngsters can develop problem solving skills. If they set their foot in another country, they will not have any help from family or friends, so they have to make decisions by themselves. Thus, they can easily adapt to new environments and survive in difficult situations. In general, my opinion is although travelling abroad is a financial wasteful activity and time-wasting, it provides a precious chance for young people to expand their knowledge and experients.
There has an active discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of traveling. Although it appears convincing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
can enhance their experience for travelling to other countries, I lean towards that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may
be wasted
.

It is understandable why trips to foreign lands may squander youngster’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. The
first
one is time-wasting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
booking, planning for
Did you mean "these"?
this
trips and
besides
they
also
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to involve in tours around the city where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
Therefore
, they will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to focus on their study or career, which
easily
deprives them of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted. The second one is money-wasted. The price of overseas journeys is exorbitant for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
who are not
yet
financially
confident
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to book accommodation abroad.
Therefore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should have
been spent
on their personal and professional development to advance their work.

There are several reasons why overseas trips are of great importance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults to gain more experience.
Firstly
, they can widen their relationships
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and interact with local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will have more chances to find a person who has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
interests and hobbies with them.
As a result
, they can have more friends from where they went and lay a foundation
Possible spelling mistake found.
dỏ
them to become global citizens.
Secondly
, youngsters can develop problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. If they set their foot in another country, they will not have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from family or friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions by themselves.
Thus
, they can
easily
adapt to new environments and survive in difficult situations.

In general
, my opinion is although travelling abroad is a financial wasteful activity and time-wasting, it provides a precious chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to expand their knowledge and
Possible spelling mistake found.
experients
.
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IELTS essay There has an active discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of traveling

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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