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Some people says that the universities must only accept students with high mark. Others believe that universities must accept students off all ages regardless of their previous grades. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people says that the universities must only accept students with high mark. Others believe that universities must accept students off all ages regardless of their previous grades. v. 2
University education has become a popular topic among people. While many people believe that the educational institutions must solely admit top-scorers, others think that all ages students irrespective of the previous grades which they held must be accepted. As well as offering my personal opinion, this essay will discuss these views and show why universities must ultimately give priority to high-achievers, but why the accessibility of university education has its benefits. On the one hand, there are a growing number of people who believe that only students who have higher grades must be accepted by universities. The chief reason to believe this belief is that students who are with high mark spend their valuable time to enter into a top university instead of playing video games, watching TV. Worse, they suffer from physical and mental problems during this preparation process. For instance, today, many students, who desire to get into a university that has a reputation, have trouble with high levels of stress, anxiety, posture problems, losing weight, parental pressure and more, all of which result from excessive studying. Therefore, undoubtedly, only the top scorers must be admitted by universities. On the other hand, universities must be made accessible to all, regardless of students' previous marks, according to some. The main reason behind this idea is that they think that a fresh graduate who holds a diploma can easily find a job. For example, 30% of British graduates are currently working in jobs that require a degree. For these reasons, there are a number of people who believe that universities must be accessible to everyone. In conclusion, having a degree is a common desire among people. This essay clearly has discussed why only the top scorers must be ultimately admitted to universities, and why these educational institutions should be accessible to everyone. In my opinion, universities must only accept students with high grades because these students strive to get into universities after a high level of determination and perseverance, as required by the competitive nature of the job market.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
education has become a popular topic among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the educational institutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
solely
admit top-scorers, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that all ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
irrespective of the previous grades which they held
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.
As well
as offering my personal opinion, this essay will discuss these views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ultimately
give priority to high-achievers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why the accessibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education has its benefits.

On the one hand, there are a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have higher grades
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. The chief reason to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
this belief is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
mark spend their valuable time to enter into a top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
instead
of playing video games, watching TV. Worse, they suffer from physical and mental problems during this preparation process.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
that has a reputation, have trouble with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, anxiety, posture problems, losing weight, parental pressure and more, all of which result from excessive studying.
Therefore
,
undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the top scorers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be admitted
by universities.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be made
accessible to all, regardless of students' previous marks, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. The main reason behind this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a fresh graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
holds a diploma can
easily
find a job.
For example
, 30% of British graduates are
currently
working in jobs that require a degree. For these reasons, there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be accessible to everyone.

In conclusion
, having a degree is a common desire among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay
clearly
has discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the top scorers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
ultimately
admitted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, and why these educational institutions should be accessible to everyone. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
grades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level of determination and perseverance, as required by the competitive nature of the job market.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people says that the universities must only accept students with high mark. Others believe that universities must accept students off all ages regardless of their previous grades. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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