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some people says that people should concentrate on finishing high school education without working a part time job. On the other hand, a lot of people says that part-time work can help students learn responsibility and time management.

some people says that people should concentrate on finishing high school education without working a part time job. On the other hand, a lot of people says that part-time work can help students learn responsibility and time management. 2b28J
High school education is very crucial in our life, some people says that people should concentrate on finishing high school education without working a part time job. On the other hand, a lot of people says that part-time work can help students learn responsibility and time management. I believe that finishing high school education without part timing is better than with part timing. To begin with, high school education is important for students to continue to the next level of education. It is crucial for people to get good grade in high school because it can help people get to the university that they chose. Moreover, working a part-time job is not a choice because it can makes us have less sleep time and less study time. For example, if you have an exam on math tommorow, but you have a part time job tonight, you cannot get a lot of time for studying and sleeping so it can have a major effect on your grade and your future to study at a university. So, a part-time job is not an option. To conclude, completing high school education with a part time job is not a choice because it can messes with our sleep time and our study time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial in our life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
says
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should concentrate on finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
without working a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
says that part-time work can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students learn responsibility and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management. I believe that finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
timing is better than with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
timing.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for students to continue to the
next
level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. It is crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grade in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the university that they chose.
Moreover
, working a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is not a choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
makes
us have less sleep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and less study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, if you have an exam on math
Possible spelling mistake found.
tommorow
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
tonight, you cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for studying and sleeping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can have a major effect on your grade and your future to study at a university.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is not an option.

To conclude
, completing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is not a choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "mess"
messes
with our sleep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and our study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay some people says that people should concentrate on finishing high school education without working a part time job. On the other hand, a lot of people says that part-time work can help students learn responsibility and time management.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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