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Some people says cinema and political people saw any more what other says it is the responsibility to end for their struggle do you agree or disagree

Some people says cinema and political people saw any more what other says it is the responsibility to end for their struggle d9BmK
In this modern Eire there are lot of difference for the teams defence teams well political and the cinema industries has lot of amount for the struggle I completely agree with this statement well there are some this advantages but overview of advantages. The political stars and is there a moon due to day of life struggle in their life which makes them to make money and popularity by the audience and followers this in my industry and the political life has she sought time of period which can make highly profit at the same time it can be increase the popularity but on other hand it can we decrease the short term in his tickets if you tickets it can be decreases. The cinema industries and political people should sacrifice their life for certain time dishes for private Andy personal life because you to the media and the fans and the followers they don’t have time to spend with the family so I think they have to pay some of which amount and the grace of this has been seen up to now it’s also knew that not only a Force or shall celebrities but the sports months of Aham same type of a man who is the both of the categories Force or shall celebrities but the sports months of Aham same type of a man who is the both of the categories In some Arab I completely agree with this statement because the political and the cinema have sacrificed their life for their without depending on others without the.
In this modern Eire there are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
difference for the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "teams'" or "team's"?
teams
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
teams well political and the cinema industries has
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
amount for the struggle I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement well there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
this advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
overview of advantages.

The political stars and is there a moon due to day of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
struggle in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money and popularity by the audience and followers this in my industry and the political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has she sought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of period which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
highly
profit at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it can be increase the popularity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on other hand it can we decrease the short term in his tickets if you
The pronoun 'you' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "ticket"
tickets
it can be decreases.

The cinema industries and political
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should sacrifice their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
dishes for private Andy personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you to the media and the fans and the followers they don’t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with the family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which amount and the grace of this has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it’s
also
Consider using a past participle here: "known".
knew
that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a Force or shall celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the sports months of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aham
same
If 'type' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "type of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
type of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who is the both of the categories

Force or shall celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the sports months of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aham
same
If 'type' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "type of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
type of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who is the both of the categories

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Arab I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the political and the cinema have sacrificed their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
for their without depending on others without
Did you forget something after 'the'?
the.

IELTS essay Some people says cinema and political people saw any more what other says it is the responsibility to end for their struggle

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
262 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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