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some people consider online shopping is dangerous for society . discuss and give your opinion.

some people consider online shopping is dangerous for society. discuss and give your opinion. weojn
Undoubtedly, online shopping is increasing day by day in modern era due to advancement of technology. Some people think that it is harmful for society. However, other opposed it. Before giving my opinion, I will discuss both points of views on this notion. To commence with, plethora of reasons which compel masses to become shopaholic. . First and foremost is time saving process because they do shopping at any place without going at physical store with the help of internet connection. So they save their energy and time and to do shopping within few hours. For example, an individual do job at private company for 8 to 9 hours. So, they do not have time to spend at shop to purchase particular thing. As a result they take the help of online shopping applications on their computers or phones. Additionally, online shopping provides the varieties of products with different prices. On the other hand, there are many negative effects of online shopping. Firstly, the bad quality of products possess the insecurity regarding the items that they purchase from online shops. As a result, human beings do not trust on technology and they hesitate from online shopping. Secondly, some time delivery of items take a lot of time to reach at destination because many people live in remote areas where do not have any well developed facilities for public. Therefore, the traders con not connect with these people. Consequently masses leave their home places and move to other parts of the world. In conclusion, I pen down by saying that I agree with this statement. Online shopping have many bad effects on society.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is increasing day by day in modern era due to advancement of technology.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is harmful for society.
However
, other opposed it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
giving my opinion, I will discuss both points of views on this notion.

To commence with, plethora of reasons which compel masses to become shopaholic.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
First
and foremost is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at any place without going at physical store with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of internet connection.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they save their energy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
within few hours.
For example
, an individual do job at private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for 8 to 9 hours.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend at shop to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
particular thing.
As a result
they take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
applications on their computers or phones.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
provides the varieties of products with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
prices.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
quality of products possess the insecurity regarding the items that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops.
As a result
, human beings do not trust on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
technology and
they hesitate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
delivery of items take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to reach at destination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in remote areas where do not have any
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
facilities for public.
Therefore
, the traders con not connect with these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home places and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to other parts of the world.

In conclusion
, I pen down by saying that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on society.

IELTS essay some people consider online shopping is dangerous for society. discuss and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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