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Pretend that you are an astronomer and have discovered a new planet.

Pretend that you are an astronomer and have discovered a new planet. Kye8L
While I was exploring space, seen a planet that I'd never seen before. It had blue on the sides like the sides, like the shape of a baseball. Then a circle-oval shape in the middle of the baseball pattern, leaving two semi-circle-like shapes on each side of the circle. The inside of the circle was a light gray color. The outside of it was brown and green. There were three circles inside the gray part. I wanted to find out more, so I landed on the part that looked like land. I put out cameras and drones to find out more. Furthermore, I then went to the other side of the land and put in more cameras. Then I went back into the spaceship and controlled the drones and watched the cameras. I realized, as I watched, that the brown was soil and the green was grass and plants. They were buildings and houses. There were humans, not a lot, but quite a few. The drones by the gray circle weren't able to get in the circle. It threw the drone away from it. The drones by the blue water found beaches and water. There were circles on each corner of the circle in the middle. The drones there found a path into the circle. It was foggy, but the ground had grass and soil until it reached one of the three smaller circles. There were rocks. Then everything went red and a heat detection popped up. After a couple of seconds, it shut off. I got all my research done and went back to earth. I turned in what I found. It was an unknown planet, nobody had ever found. My boss said he would have a research team to get more information on it. It was a life-changing moment
While I was exploring space,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a planet that I'd never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. It had blue on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
, like the shape of a baseball. Then a circle-oval shape in the middle of the baseball pattern, leaving two semi-circle-like shapes on each side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
circle
. The inside of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
circle
was a light gray color. The outside of it was brown and green. There were three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
circles
inside the gray part. I wanted to find out more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I landed on the part that looked like land. I put out cameras and drones to find out more.

Furthermore
, I then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to the other side of the land and put in more cameras. Then I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
back into the spaceship and controlled the drones and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
the cameras. I realized, as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
, that the brown was soil and the green was grass and plants. They were buildings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. There were humans, not a lot,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
quite a few. The drones by the gray
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
circle
weren't able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
circle
. It threw the drone away from it. The drones by the blue water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
beaches and water. There were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
circles
on each corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
circle
in the middle. The drones there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
a path into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
circle
. It was foggy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the ground had grass and soil until it reached one of the three smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
circles
. There were rocks. Then everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
red and a heat detection popped up. After a couple of seconds, it shut off.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
all my research done and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
back to earth. I turned in what I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
. It was an unknown planet, nobody had ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
. My boss said he would have a research team to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information on it. It was a life-changing
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
moment

IELTS essay Pretend that you are an astronomer and have discovered a new planet.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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