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According to researches, the number of people in big cities is higher than the number of people in the countryside

According to researches, the number of people in big cities is higher than the number of people in the countryside p13j3
According to researches, the number of people in big cities is higher than the number of people in the countryside. So this essay will show you the good things and bad things of living in the big cities. First of all, there are several benefits that live in big cities is have a good working environment. It’s can help you a chance to find a good job. Not only that, the study environment also better than countryside. The modern equipment give graduates better. You can also approach modernity to improve your life. And in the big cities always have many shopping mall that can make you relax after a tiring day. It’s have so many benefits to live in the big cities right? However, It’s also have a bad things to live in here. Firstly, the cost to live is so high that can make you stressed. You may to have working to pay house money. Secondly, big cities be have environment pollution. And the people live here are not as friendly as people live in countryside. Live far from parents make some students lazy and they don’t want to learn and work. In short, living in the big cities is great. In my oppinion, you should live in here. You would have a great job opportunities and get success in life
According to researches, the number of
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people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is higher than the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the countryside.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
you the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things of living in the
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big
cities.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are several benefits that
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live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
working environment. It’s can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you a chance to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, the study environment
also
better than countryside. The modern equipment give graduates better. You can
also
approach modernity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your life. And in the
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big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
always have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
shopping mall that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you relax after a tiring day. It’s have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to
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live
in the
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big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
right?

However
, It’s
also
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "thing"?
things
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in here.
Firstly
, the cost to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
. You may to have working to pay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
money.
Secondly
,
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big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
be
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
environment pollution. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
here are not as friendly as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in countryside.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Live
far from parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lazy and
they don’t want to learn and work.

In short, living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is great. In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppinion
, you should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in here. You would have a great job opportunities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay According to researches, the number of people in big cities is higher than the number of people in the countryside

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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