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Some people say the most important thing about being rich is that it gives you the oportunity to give back

Some people say the most important thing about being rich is that it gives you the oportunity to give back M3Q8N
Some individuals review that the most important behavior of wealth is the opportunity of philanthropy. I partly agree with this statement. In my opinion, more people consider that the main advance of being rich is access to privileges, which are given a huge amount of money. I did not deny that many philanthropic funds are financed by rich, famous individuals. I suppose, their social status allows them to sacrifice part of their revenues and help citizens, which are living in poverty. There are many cases, when wealth individuals have created funds for struggling against climate changes and protecting animals. Their contribution matter and it is bringing huge benefit. For instance, people, who practice philanthropy, could inspire middle-class individuals for volunteering or practice donating. I believe that if privileged individuals do not donate part of their income, catastrophic cases will happen. The opportunity of helping is one of the important things of owning wealth status. On the another hand, privilege and opportunity of owning desired possesses are more important for rich people, than philanthropy. In my personal opinion, major individuals, who own enormous quantity of money, do not pay much attention on poverty or another social problem. I suppose, that almost all individuals pay attention on themselves firstly. Opportunity to graduate the best university, owning of expensive cars and accommodations are more attracting aspects of rich life, than opportunities of helping another. Overall, I think, that philanthropy is important aspect and enough wealth individuals understand it. However, the opportunity of comfortable live has more sense for city-dwellers, who had privileges.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
review that the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
behavior of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
of philanthropy.

I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. In my opinion, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that the main advance of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
is access to privileges, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a huge amount of money.

I did not deny that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
philanthropic funds
are financed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. I suppose, their social status
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to sacrifice part of their revenues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
citizens, which are living in poverty. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
have created funds for struggling against climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and protecting animals. Their contribution matter and it is bringing huge benefit.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who practice philanthropy, could inspire middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
for volunteering or practice donating. I believe that if privileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
do not donate part of their income, catastrophic cases will happen. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
of helping is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
things of owning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
status.

On the another hand, privilege and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
of owning desired possesses are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, than philanthropy. In my personal opinion, major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
enormous quantity of money, do not pay much attention on poverty or another social problem. I suppose, that almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
pay attention on themselves
firstly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Opportunity
to graduate the best university, owning of expensive cars and accommodations are more attracting aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
life, than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
of helping another.

Overall
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, that philanthropy is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
aspect and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
understand it.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
of comfortable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
has more sense for city-dwellers, who had privileges.

IELTS essay Some people say the most important thing about being rich is that it gives you the oportunity to give back

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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