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Some people say the best way for the government to solve traffic congestion is to provide public transportation 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say the best way for the government to solve traffic congestion is to provide public transportation 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. v. 1
Technology has revolutionised the art of communication. In recent days, some official business conversations, professional discussions or social communications are mostly through an online platform, rather than face to face. This essay will discuss few benefits and drawbacks of this modern way of contacting with each other. Firstly, the advantages of this modern technology is that, it is time saving and economical. For instance, video conferences will save the travelling time for an individual or else the person had to spend all his time in travelling to the distant cities. Moreover, the cost involved in travelling or commuting is also saved. For example, the internet charges are quite affordable, hence chatting online is cheaper, instead of paying exuberantly to the conference hall venues. Therefore, these modern amenities of communication will not only save time, but they are also reasonable. Secondly, the disadvantages are these online discussions is that, they may not be effective and sometimes people can easily deceive others. For example, some of the official recruitment done after Skype interviews are not satisfactory unlike that of the face to face interviews. Moreover, the expression of an individual cannot be analysed while chatting online. For example, people can disguise themselves and can pretend like others while they do internet meetings. Overall, the major drawbacks of modern internet conversations are, they less effective and adults can deceive others easily. To conclude, the positive aspects of an internet discussion is that, that it can save time and also money, however, the negative aspects are, people can easily cheat others and these online conversations are less effective than the face to face communication.
Technology has
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the art of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. In recent days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
official business conversations, professional discussions or social communications are
mostly
through an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platform,
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
. This essay will discuss few benefits and drawbacks of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
way of contacting with each other.

Firstly
, the advantages of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technology is that, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving and economical.
For instance
, video conferences will save the travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for an individual or else the person had to spend all his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in travelling to the distant cities.
Moreover
, the cost involved in travelling or commuting is
also
saved.
For example
, the internet charges are quite affordable,
hence
chatting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is cheaper,
instead
of paying
exuberantly
to the conference hall venues.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
amenities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
also
reasonable.

Secondly
, the disadvantages are these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
discussions is that, they may not be effective and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
deceive others.
For example
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
official recruitment done after Skype interviews are not satisfactory unlike that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
interviews.
Moreover
, the expression of an individual cannot be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
while chatting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can disguise themselves and can pretend like others while they do internet meetings.
Overall
, the major drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
internet conversations are, they less effective and adults can deceive others
easily
.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of an internet discussion is that, that it can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
also
money,
however
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects are,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
cheat others and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
conversations are less effective than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say the best way for the government to solve traffic congestion is to provide public transportation 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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