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Some people say that women should stay at home to do housework and look after their children do you agree or disagree.

Some people say that women should stay at home to do housework and look after their children kW3DO
For centuries, men were known as breadwinners and women were know as housewives. As time passed, women can took more social roles. However, some people think that their main role is taking care of their children and doing housework. I strongly disagree with this oppinion for many reasons and this paragraph will explain the reason for my view. Firstly, working women help their husbands reduce the burden. We live in a luxurious world with high living expenses, which requires both men and women to work hard. Therefore, if only a man be the breadwinner, payment of all the costs is almost impossible. women shouldn't just do chores. they need to go out to work to show men what they can do and contribute to society and family. Secondly, work brings many benefits to women in expanding knowledge. Because of the job requirements, they need to communicate with many types of people. Therefore, female can improve their social skills, gain more information and experience in life. It helps you become stronger with the ability to handle all difficult situations in life. Finally, if women work and have a financial contribution to the family, their levels of confidence would be increased. Women, as human beings, are eager for being independent. women will not feel happy and satisfied with life, if only at home. women do not work just to make money, they seek a way to build their confidence and independency. To sum up, I believe women need to work outside the home to help their families economically, improve their children socially and, more importantly, reinforce their own level of confidence.
For centuries,
men
were known
as breadwinners and
women
were
know
as housewives. As time passed,
women
can took more social roles.
However
,
some
people
think
that their main role is taking care of their children and doing housework. I
strongly
disagree with this
oppinion
for
many
reasons and this paragraph will
explain
the reason for my view.

Firstly
, working
women
help
their husbands
reduce
the burden. We
live
in a luxurious world with high living expenses, which requires both
men
and
women
to
work
hard
.
Therefore
, if
only
a
man
be the breadwinner, payment of all the costs is almost impossible.
women
shouldn't
just
do chores.
they
need to go out to
work
to
show
men
what they can do and contribute to society and family.

Secondly
,
work
brings
many
benefits to
women
in expanding knowledge.
Because
of the job requirements, they need to communicate with
many
types of
people
.
Therefore
, female can
improve
their social
skills
, gain more information and experience in life. It
helps
you become stronger with the ability to handle all difficult situations in life.

Finally
, if
women
work
and have a financial contribution to the family, their levels of confidence would
be increased
.
Women
, as human beings, are eager for being independent.
women
will not feel happy and satisfied with life, if
only
at home.
women
do not
work
just
to
make
money, they seek a way to build their confidence and
independency
.

To sum up, I believe
women
need to
work
outside the home to
help
their families
economically
,
improve
their children
socially
and, more
importantly
, reinforce their
own
level of confidence.
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IELTS essay Some people say that women should stay at home to do housework and look after their children

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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