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Cholesterol and heart disease process

Cholesterol and heart disease process 73jon
Cholesterol can be a risk factor of heart disease. This process will show you how cholesterol leads to heart disease. Cholesterol is a fatty substance in our blood stream. First, the first cause is eating unhealthy foods. Since it affects inactive people, you have to exercise. Second, when the fat build up in artery walls, that will cause narrowing of arteries while arteries become stiffening. Then artery walls start to damage. Next, as soon as the blood flow restricted, the heart tissue will weaken because lack of oxygen supply. Meanwhile, it will form of fatty streaks in artery. Then fatty streaks crack. After that a clot will be formed around the crack. Since the heart muscle lack of oxygen, the blood clot becomes blocked. Finally, this will cause a heart attack or stroke. To sum up, you have to eat healthy food and exercise because that will help you avoid the risk of cholesterol.
Cholesterol can be a
risk
factor of
heart
disease. This process will
show
you how cholesterol leads to
heart
disease. Cholesterol is a fatty substance in our blood stream.
First
, the
first
cause is eating unhealthy foods. Since it affects inactive
people
, you
have to
exercise. Second, when the
fat
build up in
artery
walls, that will cause narrowing of
arteries
while
arteries
become stiffening. Then
artery
walls
start
to damage.
Next
, as
soon
as the blood flow restricted, the
heart
tissue will weaken
because
lack of oxygen supply. Meanwhile, it will form of fatty streaks in
artery
. Then fatty streaks crack.
After
that a clot will
be formed
around the crack. Since the
heart
muscle lack of oxygen, the blood clot becomes blocked.
Finally
, this will cause a
heart
attack or stroke. To sum up, you
have to
eat healthy food and exercise
because
that will
help
you avoid the
risk
of cholesterol.
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IELTS essay Cholesterol and heart disease process

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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