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Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, government should priorities healthcare. Other people say that there are more important priorities for taxpayer’s. discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, government should priorities healthcare. Other people say that there are more important priorities for taxpayer’s. JoKn6
The healthcare sector is often one of the first to be considered by government when allocating tax revenue. However, there are more essential areas which also deserve due consideration and resources. I feel that, while access to quality healthcare is certainly a vital component of any successful society, other sectors certainly cannot be ignored. Perhaps the most compelling reason why healthcare should be priorities is because of the detrimental effect that a dysfunctional healthcare system can have on the economy. A robust and healthcare workforce is a cornerstone of any economy. And this workforce is consistently ill, then productivity will slow, jobs will be lost, and the economy will shrink. This would lead to lower tax revenue, would in turn mean less funding for healthcare, and a vicious cycle would begin. However, the healthcare system should not be viewed in isolation. Another particularly essential part of society is the education sector. The most obvious benefit of education is that leads to a more skilled workforce. Which in turn leads to a stronger economy and higher tax revenues. But there is another, deeper, benefit to education, which is that liberates the minds of the populace, and leads to greater individual self-respect and a more peaceful society. The importance of education cannot be understanding. Education is not the only are which demands government attention. The environmental crisis is becoming an increasingly urgent problem: sea levels are rising; food production is threatened; sever weather is causing unprecedented damage; and the habitats of our precious flora and fauna are disappearing. Unless tax money is put aside to reverse the dire state of affairs, future generations will face an uncertain existence. My opinion is that a country is made up of money interdependent parts, and allowing any one of those part to fail will cause a collapse of the entire system. The problems faced by other areas such as education and the environment, among others, are too pressing and potentially catastrophic to be ignored. I therefore feel that health care should not receive any special priorities
The healthcare sector is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
one of the
first
to
be considered
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
when allocating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
revenue.
However
, there are more essential areas which
also
deserve due consideration and resources. I feel that, while access to quality healthcare is
certainly
a vital component of any successful society, other sectors
certainly
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

Perhaps the most compelling reason why healthcare should be priorities is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the detrimental effect that a dysfunctional healthcare system can have on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. A robust and healthcare workforce is a cornerstone of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. And this workforce is
consistently
ill, then productivity will slow, jobs will
be lost
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
will shrink. This would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
revenue, would in turn mean less funding for healthcare, and a vicious cycle would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
.

However
, the healthcare system should not
be viewed
in isolation. Another
particularly
essential part of society is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector. The most obvious benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is that leads to a more skilled workforce. Which in turn leads to a stronger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
revenues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is another, deeper, benefit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, which is that liberates the minds of the populace, and leads to greater individual self-respect and a more peaceful society. The importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
cannot
The verb 'understanding' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
be understanding
.

Education is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are which demands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
attention. The environmental crisis is becoming an
increasingly
urgent problem: sea levels are rising; food production
is threatened
; sever weather is causing unprecedented damage; and the habitats of our precious flora and fauna are disappearing. Unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
money
is put
aside to reverse the dire state of affairs, future generations will face an uncertain existence.

My opinion is that a country
is made
up of money interdependent parts, and allowing any one of those part to fail will cause a collapse of the entire system. The problems faced by other areas such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and the environment, among others, are too pressing and
potentially
catastrophic to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. I
therefore
feel that health care should not receive any special
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
priorities
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IELTS essay Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, government should priorities healthcare. Other people say that there are more important priorities for taxpayer’s.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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