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Some people say that TV advertisement are helpful for viewers, while others disagree. What is your opinion?

Some people say that TV advertisement are helpful for viewers, while others disagree. What is your opinion? p0n9
There is no doubt that, several people claim that television advertisement have lot of benefits which is obviously useful for people. Whereas, others believe that, it has many negatives as well as they are disagree with ads. To commence with, television advertisement is very useful for users. These days, most people love to watch a different kinds of ads. Due to this, they think that's it is beneficial to provide update information about technology besides it is not matter people use that product in daily life or not. It is depend upon someone‘s choice. For instance, in recent times mostly people like to watch advertisement which is related to technology, because in today’s workholic life, the whole population of the world depend on various gadgets of technical. They opine that it is a good way to enhance their knowledge regarding anything. Therefore, television advertisement is advantageous for viewers. However, there are number of people who are disagreed with the advertisement. Furthermore, some people are living below poverty line and they do not spend lot of money to buy new things which is very expensive for them. People think that it is the source to create curiosity and increase the demands of people every day. it is not good for whole people. To illustrate, due to survey of mobile company, they find that people are more convinced by watching ads on television to buy I phone or other high companies. So, it has some negatives also of advertisement. In conclusion, although television advertisement are good source to create awareness among viewers, it has some drawbacks also. I believe that, it is not only help to provide updated proficiency but also it creates some negative feelings in people.
There is no doubt that, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
benefits which is
obviously
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Whereas, others believe that, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
negatives
as well
as they are
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with ads.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for users. These days, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "kind"?
kinds
of ads. Due to this, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Did you mean "that it is" or "that is its"?
that's it is
beneficial to provide update information about technology
besides
it is not matter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that product in daily life or not. It is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
upon someone‘s choice.
For instance
, in recent times
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
which
is related
to technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
workholic
life, the whole population of the world depend on various gadgets of technical. They opine that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to enhance their knowledge regarding anything.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is advantageous for viewers.

However
, there are number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are disagreed
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living below poverty
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
line and
they do not spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new things which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the source to create curiosity and increase the demands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
every day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To illustrate, due to survey of mobile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, they find that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more convinced by watching ads on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
I phone or other high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negatives
also
of advertisement.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source to create awareness among viewers, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
also
. I believe that, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to provide updated proficiency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
feelings in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that TV advertisement are helpful for viewers, while others disagree. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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