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Some people say that traffic accidents are caused by the increasing number of motorbikes. Others blame for man’s fault. Which point of view do you agree? State at least three relevant evidences.

Some people say that traffic accidents are caused by the increasing number of motorbikes. Others blame for man’s fault. Which point of view do you agree? State at least three relevant evidences. 9Ybr0
In today’s modern society, traffic problem is seem to be frequently occur. Many people said that it caused by the increasing amount of motorbike but i feel that it seem to be caused by the human’s fault. On the one hand, it is universally accepted that most of the traffic casualties are caused by the bad awareness of the road user. Some people don’t wear helmet, blow the red light, … but the main cause of this serious problem i think it is the overspeeding. Many people go to fast that they can’t handle the speed. As a result a undersirable situation happen. On the other hand, a large number of traffic incidents are caused by young people’s careless driving. Many of them are not mature enough to fully understand the serious consequences of their actions or to be responsible for what they caused. In addition, as far as i know rudimentary vehicals is aslo a reason of this traffic problem. Many of them seem almost impossible to identify the shape or the brand of the vehical. They are not safe enough to join traffic because it is very easy to suddenly fall apart. In conclusion, i strongly support the goverment to raise the road user’s awareness, it is the best solution to enhance the transport system and aslo reduce the traffic accidents
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problem is
Consider using a past participle here: "seemed".
seem
to be
frequently
Consider using a past participle here: "occurred".
occur
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
said that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by the increasing amount of motorbike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
feel that it seem to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by the human’s fault.

On the one hand, it is
universally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
casualties are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
awareness of the road user.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t wear helmet, blow the red light, …
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the main cause of this serious problem
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
overspeeding
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
that they can’t handle the speed.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
undersirable
situation happen.

On the other hand
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
incidents are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
caused
by young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
careless driving.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
fully
understand the serious consequences of their actions or to be responsible for what they caused.

In addition
, as far as
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
know rudimentary
Possible spelling mistake found.
vehicals
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
aslo
a reason of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them seem almost impossible to identify the shape or the brand of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
vehical
. They are not safe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to
suddenly
fall apart.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
support the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
to raise the road user’s awareness, it is the best solution to enhance the transport system and
Possible spelling mistake found.
aslo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents
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IELTS essay Some people say that traffic accidents are caused by the increasing number of motorbikes. Others blame for man’s fault. Which point of view do you agree? State at least three relevant evidences.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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