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Some people say that to have expert skills e.g., Musician, scientist, talent is most important, while other people say that other things are more important.

Some people say that to have expert skills e. g. , Musician, scientist, talent is most important, while other people say that other things are more important. eEYAK
At present there is some controversy is being going on that whether talent is more important to be an expert of the field or other things are essential. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my own opinion. On the one hand, some people argue that talent is crucial to be an expert of any field, because there are so many things which not everyone can do. Moreover, if I talk about to be a scientist, than not everyone can be, because it requires certain talent in the individuals. Furthermore, to be a doctor people have to be more talents because it requires people to have certain skills. For example, when I was young, me and my friend used to make future goal about the occupation we will have, we used to say we both would become a doctor, but now he is and I am not, it is because he is more talent than me. On the other hand, there are certain things which requires to be an expert of field. If people want to have expertise engineering field than they require the basic knowledge of mathematics. Moreover, if someone wants to be an expert of the medicine field than he would need to gain the certain knowledge from the university. For example, I am from the business filed and to have expertise in this field, I needed to get an degree from the university, which helped me to be an entrepreneur. In conclusion, I believe that to have vast skills of any sectors people are required to have certain knowledge rather than being talent.
At present there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
controversy is being going on that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expert
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
or other things are essential. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is crucial to be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expert
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things which not everyone can do.
Moreover
, if I talk about to be a scientist, than not everyone can be,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in the individuals.
Furthermore
, to be a doctor
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people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

For example
, when I was young, me and my friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
future goal about the occupation we will have, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to say we both would become a doctor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
is and
I am not, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
than me.

On the other hand
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
things which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
requires
to be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expert
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to have expertise engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
than they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
the basic knowledge of mathematics.
Moreover
, if someone wants to be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expert
of the medicine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
than he would need to gain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
knowledge from the university.

For example
, I am from the business filed and to have expertise in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, I needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
degree from the university, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to be an entrepreneur.

In conclusion
, I believe that to have vast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of any sectors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are required
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
knowledge
rather
than being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that to have expert skills e. g. , Musician, scientist, talent is most important, while other people say that other things are more important.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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