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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental prolems. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental prolems. xN56
It is often argued that environmental issues have been escalating by leaps and bounds with passing time. Some proponents are of the opinion that the most pivotal hurdle is the extinction of specific types of flora and fauna. While, rest of them assert that there are numerous other imperative problems related to atmosphere. I side with the latter viewpoint. This eassy will highlight different perspectives in impending paraphrases. From first school of thought, it is said that some plants as well as animals are on the verge of extinction. The predominant reason is deforestation as individuals cut trees to fulfill their basic needs such as housing. Then, it will have detrimental influence on both species. What is more, mortals indulge themselves in hunting and poaching activities. They treat animals in unethical manners. For instance, there are some kinds of animals like tiger, white elephant, panada and many more are disappearing day by day because of human's bad behaviour towards them. From second school of thought, it is believed that some other mandatory obstacles are also there connected to environment. First and foremost is global warming and climate changes. To be more precise, temperature of each country is rising and emission of carbon dioxide give birth to climate crisis. Moreover, pollution is another depressing issue which raised at an alarming rate whether air, noise, water and land. Apart from that, depletion of ozone layer, with the advancement in technology, it is seen that ozone layer is depleted by excessive use of nitrogen gas in cooling systems. To exemplify, in Australia, there is hole in ozone layer that has perilous impact on health of folks and some lethal ailments occur due to this such as cancer. To encapsulate, I would like to wrap up my views by reiterating that different people think differently in all cases. Nobody can be compelled to take either side. I ponder that although disappearence of particular sorts of plants and animals is most inevitable problem, but some other hurdles regarding ambience should be considered as important ones.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that environmental issues have been escalating by leaps and bounds with passing time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
proponents are of the opinion that the most pivotal hurdle is the extinction of specific types of flora and fauna.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, rest of them assert that there are numerous other imperative problems related to atmosphere. I side with the latter viewpoint. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
eassy
will highlight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives in impending paraphrases. From
first
school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, it
is said
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plants
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are on the verge of extinction. The predominant reason is deforestation as individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
trees to fulfill their basic needs such as housing. Then, it will have detrimental influence on both species.
What is more
, mortals indulge themselves in hunting and poaching activities. They treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in unethical manners.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like tiger, white elephant,
Possible spelling mistake found.
panada
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more are disappearing day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of human's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
towards them. From second school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, it
is believed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other mandatory obstacles are
also
there connected to environment.
First
and foremost is global warming and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. To be more precise, temperature of each country is rising and emission of carbon dioxide give birth to climate crisis.
Moreover
, pollution is another depressing issue which raised at an alarming rate whether air, noise, water and land. Apart from that, depletion of ozone layer, with the advancement in technology, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that ozone layer
is depleted
by excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of nitrogen gas in cooling systems. To exemplify, in Australia, there is hole in ozone layer that has perilous impact on health of folks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lethal ailments occur due to this such as cancer. To encapsulate, I would like to wrap up my views by reiterating that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
in all cases. Nobody can
be compelled
to take either side. I ponder that although
Possible spelling mistake found.
disappearence
of particular sorts of plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
inevitable problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other hurdles regarding ambience should
be considered
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
ones.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental prolems.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
340 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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