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Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. OO6p
People all around the world are relied on the internet to make their life easier. The usage of internet has become one of the most important roles in everyone's life. With the amount of time that has been spent to surf the internet, everyone should have felt the beneficial and adverse side of the internet. Surrounding the beneficial aspect of internet, there are plenty of it. Firstly, we can access easier communication among other people. There are numbers of application we are able to utilize, namely WhatsApp, Instagram, Twitter, and et cetera. For instance, we are able to share our story to friends who are far away. Furthermore, the internet will also providea our life's basic necessity easier. Incase we require to do long distance shopping, the internet has provides it all, from grocery shopping to fashion shopping. In addition, the internet provide us easier access to every knowledge that are available in the whole world. It is mainly students or people who work in education field that make most of it. Nowadays, most schools have already used online books to mantain suitable learning. Students no longer need to bring a heavy bag full of books. They only need to bring one electronic device to do the learning. In other hand, The internet could become a backlash for us. With a lot of people communicate with each other in the same time with the same platform, bullying might harm other people's self esteem. Bullying can take in various forms or ways. For instance, someone posting their pictures on instagram and someone commented on it with the context of racism. Furthermore, internet can can lead to theft of personal data. With easy and fast transactions, the internet has been provided beneficial worth for people all around the world. Unfortunately, with data that users have entered, other people with astounding knowledge in technology can steal it without any hassle. In addition, people of all ages can access internet easily. It means, people under the age of 18 can easily access pornography from various sites that are available. Pornography addiction can cause unwanted brain damage, especially to people who are not old enough. To wrap it all up, I agree that the use of internet will resulting in more beneficial approach compared to the adverse. This approach will go effectively under several conditions. First, the proper use of internet for children shoud be with parental supervision. Second, don't forget morals and manners when talking to other people in the internet. Lastly, we need to be able to classify the beneficial part and the adverse side of something we came across in the internet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
all around the world
are relied
on the internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
. The usage of internet has become one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles in everyone's life. With the amount of time that has
been spent
to surf the internet, everyone should have felt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
and adverse side of the internet.

Surrounding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
aspect of internet, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of it.
Firstly
, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
communication among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are numbers of application we are able to utilize,
namely
WhatsApp, Instagram, Twitter, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
et cetera
.
For instance
, we are able to share our story to friends who are far away.
Furthermore
, the internet will
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
providea
our life's basic necessity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Incase
we require
Did you mean "doing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to do
long distance shopping, the internet has provides it all, from grocery shopping to fashion shopping.
In addition
, the internet provide us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to every knowledge that are available in the whole world. It is
mainly
students or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work in education field that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
most of it. Nowadays, most schools have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
online books to
Possible spelling mistake found.
mantain
suitable learning. Students no longer need to bring a heavy bag full of books. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need to bring one electronic device to do the learning.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, The internet could become a backlash for us. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in the same time with the same platform, bullying might harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
. Bullying can take in various forms or ways.
For instance
, someone posting their pictures on
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
and someone commented on it with the context of racism.
Furthermore
, internet can can lead to theft of personal data. With easy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
transactions, the internet has
been provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
worth for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the world. Unfortunately, with data that users have entered,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with astounding knowledge in technology can steal it without any hassle.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
internet
easily
. It means,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under the age of 18 can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
pornography from various sites that are available. Pornography addiction can cause unwanted brain damage,
especially
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

To wrap it all up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "result"
resulting
in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
approach compared to the adverse. This approach will go
effectively
under several conditions.
First
, the proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet for children
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoud
be with parental supervision. Second, don't forget morals and manners when talking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
.
Lastly
, we need to be able to classify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beneficial
part and the adverse side of something we came across
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
440 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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