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It is believed that women are more suited to child-rearing than men. What is your opinion on this issue?

It is believed that women are more suited to child-rearing than men. What is your opinion on this issue? oYbq
It is accepted by people that, women raise the child more easily than men. I completely agree with the statement that womens fit in raising the kid with more care and attention which is required for every child. The main reason is that, from the very first stage that is from the womb female was developing the child with lots of care. However, by default the child is getting attached with mother even after the birth. Conscequently, the process of child growth involved even after the delivery so it makes the huge involvement of woman in the growth of a kid. For instance, the feeding is required for every infant immediatly after the birth. Secondly, naturally female will understand the rythem of the kid that makes them to travel them along with the children easily. Every girl of mankind will have a caring attitude by nature that hepls them more in child growth. For example, if a kids get hurt once after that the child will seek for his/her mother to pamper them and protect them from dangures situation. In concluding, the child in the world has a unknown attachment with there mother. Though the infant can able to find there mother through the smell and by the mother warmness. Moreover, womans have the patients on accepting all the behaviours of a child also teach the children the correct mannerisum at every required point of the kids life.
It is
accepted
by
people
that, women raise the
child
more
easily
than
men
. I completely
agree
with the statement that
womens
fit in raising the
kid
with more care and attention which
is required
for every child.

The main reason is that, from the
very
first
stage
that is
from the womb female was developing the
child
with lots of care.
However
, by default the
child
is getting attached with
mother
even after the birth.
Conscequently
, the process of
child
growth involved even after the delivery
so
it
makes
the huge involvement of woman in the growth of a
kid
.
For instance
, the feeding
is required
for every infant
immediatly
after the birth.

Secondly
,
naturally
female will understand the
rythem
of the
kid
that
makes
them to travel them along with the children
easily
. Every girl of mankind will have a caring attitude by nature that
hepls
them more in
child
growth.
For example
, if a
kids
get
hurt once after that the
child
will seek for his/her
mother
to pamper them and protect them from
dangures
situation.

In concluding, the
child
in the world has
a
unknown attachment with there
mother
. Though the infant
can able to
find there
mother
through the smell and by the
mother
warmness.
Moreover
,
womans have
the patients on accepting all the
behaviours
of a
child
also
teach the children the correct
mannerisum
at every required point of the
kids
life.
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IELTS essay It is believed that women are more suited to child-rearing than men. What is your opinion on this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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