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Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. n6bbo
How long do you expect to live? Until the age of 80? 100? If you had asked your parents the same question, they would surely have felt that a life expectancy of 70 was around average. Your grandparents, meanwhile, might have felt fortunate to live for 60 years. It is clear that people are living longer than ever before, but is this a positive or negative development? On the one hand, increased life expectancy brings many opportunities later in life to try things that you could not do in your youth. Going on a world cruise, taking up a new hobby, even going back to university to get a degree: all of these opportunities are available to retired people nowadays. What is more, while many parents find raising children to be a stressful experience, spending time with grandchildren brings far more pleasure. Therefore, a more elderly population generally means a happier population with more time to enjoy life.
How long do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
? Until the age of 80? 100? If you had asked your parents the same question, they would
surely
have felt that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy of 70 was around average. Your grandparents, meanwhile, might have felt fortunate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for 60 years. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are living longer than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is this a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development?

On the one hand, increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities later in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to try things that you could not do in your youth. Going on a world cruise, taking up a new hobby, even going back to university to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a degree: all of these opportunities are available to retired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays.
What is more
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents find raising children to be a stressful experience, spending time with grandchildren brings far more pleasure.
Therefore
, a more elderly population
generally
means a happier population with more time to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
158 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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