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Describe any accomplishments on why it would be a good fit for you (200 words or less)

Describe any accomplishments on why it would be a good fit for you (200 words or less) 1jMG
I supported the business in achieving ISO certificate 9001; while I was working as a PR officer in Adam hospital, I did the data analysis for the customer satisfaction questionnaires. That was my first achievement in the business world. Secondly, I supported the creation of the Costa & Slim chicken applications and website, and I got a team award in 2020 for this achievement. As a SQL certificated developer and administrator, I learned technical methods to store, link. manage, and extracting data, so by learning data statistics and data modeling, I will excel in transforming these data into crucial information. To put it another way, by getting trained in data analysis tools, I can do things such as predictive modeling. This involves analyzing data about a business’s past performance to predict how it will perform in the future and make business decisions accordingly. For example, I can support the business in deciding where to open its next stores. This for sure will give me a tremendous opportunity to get promoted to an executive position in the top-tier. Therefore, as you can see, this program will give me analytic tools and new programming which help in the perfect utilizing of my experience and education.
I supported the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in achieving ISO certificate 9001; while I was working as a PR officer in Adam hospital, I did the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analysis for the customer satisfaction questionnaires. That was my
first
achievement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
world.
Secondly
, I supported the creation of the Costa & Slim chicken applications and website, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a team award in 2020 for this achievement. As
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
SQL certificated developer and administrator, I learned technical methods to store, link.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
manage
, and extracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
by learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
statistics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
modeling, I will excel in transforming these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
into crucial information. To put it another way, by getting trained in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analysis tools, I can do things such as predictive modeling. This involves analyzing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
about a business’s past performance to predict how it will perform in the future and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
decisions
accordingly
.
For example
, I can support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in deciding where to open its
next
stores. This for sure will give me a tremendous opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted to an executive position in the top-tier.
Therefore
, as you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, this program will give me analytic tools and new programming which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the perfect utilizing of my experience and education.

IELTS essay Describe any accomplishments on why it would be a good fit for you (200 words or less)

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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