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Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. 2b61x
The most public think that more funds should be used by authorities on hospitals and schools instead of cinemas and sports grounds. If questioned, I strongly support such a notion because of some reasons. My inclination is justified in the ensuing write-ups. There are several arguments to support my stance. The first and foremost one is that basic health care in a necessity for general public. In other words, if people are fit and healthy, they will be more productive as well as useful for society and country. For example, few years ago, France was very low in health index; however, in 2019, France had claimed top rank in medical service because of extra grants are provided by French government. Moreover, better education can give more job opportunities. To illustrate, in today's progressive world, there is necessary to complete study because many companies are only giving jobs to those people who are educated. There are many children from poor background; if they get proper education, they will make their future better. On the contrary, I could not overlook the opposite side, too. The reason is that theatres and sports stadiums can generate revenue for any nation. To elaborate, countries who have cinema halls and sports grounds, they can earn money by organizing movie shows and sporting events. For instance, there is a survey which was conducted by Cambridge university in 2013; it revealed that during London Olympics games, income of England increased 17% because of tourism. In conclusion, although cinemas and sports grounds can help in economical growth, I firmly believe that medical facilities and education are more beneficial than them because it gives more scopes in career as well as these are basic needs of humans.
The most public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that more funds should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by authorities on hospitals and schools
instead
of cinemas and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
grounds. If questioned, I
strongly
support such a notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. My inclination
is justified
in the ensuing write-ups.

There are several arguments to support my stance. The
first
and foremost one is that basic health care in a necessity for
Consider using "public".
general public
.
In other words
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are fit
and healthy, they will be more productive
as well
as useful for society and country.
For example
, few years ago, France was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low in health index;
however
, in 2019, France had claimed top rank in medical service
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of extra grants
are provided
by French
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Moreover
, better education can give more job opportunities. To illustrate, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's progressive world, there is necessary to complete study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
giving jobs to those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are educated
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children from poor background; if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper education, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future better.

On the contrary
, I could not overlook the opposite side, too. The reason is that
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stadiums can generate revenue for any nation. To elaborate, countries who have cinema halls and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
grounds, they can earn money by organizing movie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
For instance
, there is a survey which
was conducted
by Cambridge university in 2013; it revealed that during London Olympics games, income of England increased 17%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of tourism.

In conclusion
, although cinemas and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
grounds can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth, I
firmly
believe that medical facilities and education are more beneficial than them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives more scopes in career
as well
as these are basic needs of humans.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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