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Some people say that the educational success of a student is the result of the work of a good teacher. Others say it depends on the character of the student. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that the educational success of a student is the result of the work of a good teacher. Others say it depends on the character of the student. Discuss both views and give your opinion ELl5D
There is no doubt these days that knowledge and awareness improve from time to time in terms of many ways. The question is who affects children more in education, their characters or teachers. I will discuss and explain both views and give my answer in more detail thoroughly. On the one hand, teachers have a huge role in influencing children, especially in the primary stage. For instance, teachers who have a good education make students successful in terms of many ways. Such as make them successful in their studies. Or provide them a perfect future. Furthermore, they will have a huge amount of information. Another example, Some teachers have good traits and qualities influencing students. Such as responsibility and cooperation. Consequently, they will have self-reliance in studying. thus, teachers consider role models because they affect students. On the other hand, educational success also depends on the character of the student. While some students have intelligence since birth, Other students should be hard work to be successful. For example, if the student study works every single day, although the teacher was not good, he will be successful. Moreover, the first step to being a successful person has ambition. When a person has an ambition and inspires and specific goal they will be doing all works. Having considered all the arguments above, I think both of these factors influencing students.
There is no doubt these days that knowledge and awareness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
from time to time in terms of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. The question is who affects children more in education, their characters or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. I will discuss and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both views and give my answer in more detail
thoroughly
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have a huge role in influencing children,
especially
in the primary stage.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in terms of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. Such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in their studies. Or provide them a perfect future.

Furthermore
, they will have a huge amount of information. Another example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
traits and qualities influencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Such as responsibility and cooperation.
Consequently
, they will have self-reliance in studying.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
consider role models
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they affect students.

On the other hand
, educational success
also
depends on the character of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have intelligence since birth, Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
study works every single day, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, he will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
Moreover
, the
first
step to being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
person has ambition. When a person has an ambition and inspires and specific goal they will be doing all works.

Having considered all the arguments above, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both of these factors influencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the educational success of a student is the result of the work of a good teacher. Others say it depends on the character of the student. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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