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How the scholarship will help to reach your goals

How the scholarship will help to reach your goals 7WJ7A
First and foremost, my name is Phuriphat Tobkaew and I was born in Kalasin, where is located on northeast of Thailand. I have been living with my parents who work in the public healthcare service at the hospital since I was a child. I see both of them look after their patients as always. I was inspired by this two aforementioned people. Then, I decided to attend to science school, which contains plenty of subjects that are genuinely prominent subjects. My ultimate goal is to work in a local public healthcare to increase efficiency in treatment for every patient whose budgets are not enough to pay. With this scholarship and the need-based grants I have been awarded, I can complete my education and continue to solve problems within my community as well. According to Morals and Ethics, for me, it is within in mind. Last year, I was given the school funding to develop my science project. I treated the money as a cost of trial. I did experiment only three out of ten times because I did not have enough time. When it was time for the work to be presented, the judges asked me, “Do you repeat the experiment ten? ” I chose to tell judges that I only did it three times. One judge told me that she liked that told her the truth. And this experiment gave me the life lesson that “In any kind of situations, even though honesty may not give me what I want, it makes me moral, and be given trust by others. ” In addition, this aforementioned statement inspired me to accomplish in many educational goals, including career goals which could lead to decline of problematic issues in my society. For example, use this knowledge to educate many people who lack of capacity to take care themselves and cannot afford those services. Furthermore, this scholarship would provide me an opportunity to develop my abilities which could be contributed to several people in the future. To elaborate, if someone does not have enough money to pay for healthcare services, I can aid them as much as I can. For instance, during the pandemic of COVID-19, I could help government by willingly offering them medicine to prevent the virus before it spread to their entire body. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are many people who does not take care from public healthcare; however, this scholarship will provide an opportunity in order to develop muti-skills which can be used for support government to provide the best healthcare for many patients who have waited for us to help them get through this.
First
and foremost, my name is
Phuriphat
Tobkaew and
I
was born
in
Kalasin
, where
is located
on northeast of Thailand. I have been living with my parents
who
work in the public healthcare service at the hospital since I was a child. I
see
both of them look after their patients as always.
I
was inspired
by this two aforementioned
people
. Then, I decided to attend to science school, which contains
plenty
of subjects that are
genuinely
prominent subjects. My ultimate goal is to work in a local public healthcare to increase efficiency in treatment for every patient whose budgets are not
enough
to pay. With this scholarship and the need-based grants I have
been awarded
, I can complete my education and continue to solve problems within my community
as well
.

According to Morals and Ethics, for me, it is within in mind. Last year, I was
given
the school funding to develop my science project. I treated the money as a cost of trial. I did experiment
only
three out of ten
times
because
I did not have
enough
time
. When it was
time
for the work to
be presented
, the judges asked me, “Do you repeat the experiment ten? ” I chose to
tell
judges that I
only
did it three
times
. One judge
told
me that she liked that
told
her the truth. And this experiment gave me the life lesson that “In any kind of situations,
even though
honesty may not give me what I want, it
makes
me moral, and be
given
trust by others. ”

In addition
, this aforementioned statement inspired me to accomplish in
many
educational goals, including career goals which could lead to decline of problematic issues in my society.
For example
,
use
this knowledge to educate
many
people
who
lack of capacity to take care themselves and cannot afford those services.
Furthermore
, this scholarship would provide me an opportunity to develop my abilities which could
be contributed
to several
people
in the future. To elaborate, if someone does not have
enough
money to pay for healthcare services, I can aid them as much as I can.
For instance
, during the pandemic of COVID-19, I could
help
government
by
willingly
offering them medicine to
prevent
the virus
before
it spread to their entire body.

In conclusion
, it is undeniable that there are
many
people
who
does
not take care from public healthcare;
however
, this scholarship will provide an opportunity in order to develop muti-
skills
which can be
used
for support
government
to provide the best healthcare for
many
patients
who
have waited for us to
help
them
get
through this.
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IELTS essay How the scholarship will help to reach your goals

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
439 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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