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Some people say that the death penalty should be abolished. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the death penalty should be abolished. dkp8P
In our rapidly changing society, whether should capital punishment be abolished or still maintained is such a topic of concern. I’m absolutely convinced that death penalty is extremely essential in our society because the following reasons. Firstly, according to a recent survey, the crime rate is accelerating, thus, there should be a mechanism in place. Death penalty may act as an effective deterrent of major offences. The best method to keep crimes under a tolerable level is to show people the consequences of their misconducts and felonies. For instance, many Asian nations as well as European ones have controlled some serious crimes such as murder, terrorism, drug trafficking, human trafficking… by enforcing capital punishments for those offenders. Its result was astounding and all of those countries have alleviated these serious crime and drug dealing problems to a staggering lower level. Secondly, the money spent for life imprisonment is quite costly, the governments have to spend large sums of national budget on maintenance of prisoners. Instead, this money can be used for the development of the society and welfare of the people. Therefore, the advocates of death sentence will be less costly. In conclusion, I strongly believe that death penalty proves to be the best way of controlling criminals as well as lessening governmental expenses and preventing others from doing crime.
In our
rapidly
changing society, whether should capital punishment
be abolished
or
still
maintained is such a topic of concern. I’m
absolutely
convinced that death penalty is
extremely
essential in our society
because
the following reasons.

Firstly
, according to a recent survey, the
crime
rate is accelerating,
thus
, there should be a mechanism in place. Death penalty may act as an effective deterrent of major
offences
. The best method to
keep
crimes
under a tolerable level is to
show
people
the consequences of their misconducts and felonies.
For instance
,
many
Asian nations
as well
as European ones have controlled
some
serious
crimes
such as murder, terrorism, drug trafficking, human trafficking… by enforcing capital punishments for those offenders. Its result was astounding and all of those countries have alleviated these serious
crime
and drug dealing problems to a staggering lower level.

Secondly
, the money spent for life imprisonment is quite costly, the
governments
have to
spend large sums of national budget on maintenance of prisoners.
Instead
, this money can be
used
for the development of the society and welfare of the
people
.
Therefore
, the advocates of death sentence will be less costly.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that death penalty proves to be the best way of controlling criminals
as well
as lessening governmental expenses and preventing others from doing
crime
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the death penalty should be abolished.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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