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As technology develops, more and more work is done by machines than humans. Do this development has more advantages or disadvantages?

As technology develops, more and more work is done by machines than humans. Do this development has more advantages or disadvantages? Ml3A6
Technological advancements have made it possible to do any work without human involvement. They are replacing workers in all the fields. I believe that this development is more beneficial for people, even though it causes some problems. Firstly, in factories, every process of manufacturing is performed by machines. Workers are no longer required for it, and this means companies can saves the labour cost, and increases their profit per unit of production. Tata Motors, a famous automobile company is earning billions of dollars from its machine induced production. Secondly, companies are now able to produce millions of products in short time, which was impossible in the past. Because, earlier, workers used to take years or so to reach such target. Thus, machines have increased production speed. Thirdly, in households, humans could perform their household chores with electronic devices, like Automatic washing machine for laundry, and cleaning with Vacuum cleaner. With this, they could save much of their time. However, machines might cause disruption in production process. Since, they are dependent upon electricity, whenever lights go off, machines take a second or so to restart, which halt its output. Another issue is that, sometimes one wrong input may cause disastrous results. This is only reason, Steel Industry, in Bihar had lost its 100 labours last year, because of a wrong button pressed by a worker. Sometimes, it is said that machines have made people lethargic, because everywork is done by it, leaving them free from their works. But, I feel that technologies are actually making people busy, as they are taking more orders from another companies thus, they occupy themselves more in tasks. In conclusion, machines have made life of an individual more convenient, and comfortable, though there are some issues associated with this, with proper precautions, this are easier to overcome. Thus, advantages of machines to humans are more than its problems.
Technological advancements have made it possible to do any work without human involvement. They are replacing workers in all the fields. I believe that this development is more beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
even though
it causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems.

Firstly
, in factories, every process of manufacturing
is performed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. Workers are no longer required for it, and this means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can saves the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
cost, and increases their profit per unit of production. Tata Motors, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
automobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is earning billions of dollars from its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
induced production.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to produce millions of products in short time, which was impossible in the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, earlier, workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take years or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to reach such target.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have increased production speed.

Thirdly
, in households, humans could perform their household chores with electronic devices, like Automatic washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
for laundry, and cleaning with Vacuum cleaner. With this, they could save much of their time.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
might cause disruption in production process. Since, they are dependent upon electricity, whenever lights go off,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
take a second or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to restart, which halt its output.

Another issue is that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
input may cause disastrous results. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason, Steel Industry, in Bihar had lost its 100
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
last year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
button pressed by a worker.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, it
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lethargic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
everywork
is done
by it, leaving them free from their works.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I feel that technologies are actually making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
busy, as they are taking more orders from another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
thus
, they occupy themselves more in tasks.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have made life of an individual more convenient, and comfortable, though there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues associated with this, with proper precautions,
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean "these are", "this is" or "this was"?
this are
easier to overcome.
Thus
, advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
to humans are more than its problems.

IELTS essay As technology develops, more and more work is done by machines than humans. Do this development has more advantages or disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
312 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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