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some people say that the best way to improve public health is in by increasing the number of sports facilities.However,other say that this would be have little effect on the public health.

It is believed by some people that member of society can maintain there health by doing various type of physical sports, whereas others think that these activities may give only little influence on their public health so they need to adopt other measures to overcome this menace. In this essay, I will discuss both view to curb this argument. on the one hand, people should be considered the advantages of doing physical activities as well as exercise. first and foremost, people should take part in different sports according to their choice because physical moment of body is very beneficial for their health. Therefore, by doing these activities, they can improve their mental ability well as make the body fit. As a result, every individual can avoid their health related diseases. Second and prominent, People should be determined for doing exercise people should go for walk daily in the morning time because it gives them properly refreshment to their mind and help them to increase their ability and stamina, which is very crucial for their body moreover people must join gym so that they can maintain their diet plan, As a result they could develop their health conditions. on the other hand, other people have opinion that they should use different ways to improve their health conditions. Firstly, in these days, whole world use social applications by using internal facility on mobile. so, they should learn about health related exercise and diet plan, which encourages people to change their diet. Therefore, it is good way to aware people regarding the health problems. Secondly, they should follow some health related pages on social applications because they give update information for their help. Moreover, they should join the online coaching classes to maintain their health in their homes. To conclude, although there are different ways to improve their help but in my opinion, people should pursue their the sports activities because it is better way to improve their health.
It
is believed
by
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some
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people
that member of society can maintain there
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health
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
various type of physical sports, whereas others
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think
that these
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activities
may give
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only
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little
influence on their public
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health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need to adopt
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other
measures to overcome this menace. In this essay, I will discuss both view to curb this argument.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the one hand,
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people
should
be considered
the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
physical
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activities
as well
as exercise.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
and foremost,
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people
should
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take part
in
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different
sports according to their choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
physical moment of body is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Therefore
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their mental ability well as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the body fit.
As a result
, every individual can avoid their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related diseases. Second and prominent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
be determined
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should go for walk daily in the morning time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives them
properly
refreshment to their mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to increase their ability and stamina, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for their body
moreover
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
gym
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so
that they can maintain their diet plan,
As a result
they could develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the
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other
hand,
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other
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people
have opinion that they should
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use
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different
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ways
to
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improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions.
Firstly
, in these days, whole world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social applications by using internal facility on mobile.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, they should learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related exercise and diet plan, which encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their diet.
Therefore
, it is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a good".
good
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way
to aware
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people
regarding the
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health
problems.
Secondly
, they should follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related pages on social applications
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they give update information for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
Moreover
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the online coaching classes to maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in their homes.

To conclude
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pursue their the sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a better".
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
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IELTS essay some people say that the best way to improve public health is in by increasing the number of sports facilities. However, other say that this would be have little effect on the public health.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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