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Getting Promotions Are One Of The Biggest Motivators For Hard Work In The Modern Workplace

Many people opine that getting a gift from the works that we do is the greatest motivator for hardworks in modern office. in this essay discusses why people are competing in receive of a promotion and what factors influence it. In the modern world like this, many people are competing to achieve something they want, as well as in the world of work. these are the things that cause the development of the office sector to grow rapidly to produce something. So the first reason is the desire to get something of value, such as money or a position. These two things are the main goals of the workers out there, for example, there are many workers who work only to make money because of the desire to live in wealth. besides that there is recognition. many people are race for promotions because they want recognition for the hard work they have put in. for example, many workers from lower positions such as office workers, work hard, do not go home, overtime, sometimes they do not eat just to get recognition of the hard work they have made. Besides promotion in the world of work, the factors that motivate people to continue working hard are family, There are many workers out there, who come from below average family economic conditions, by working hard they want to help the economic condition of their families. besides that, from hard work, they have the ambition to elevate their family from bad economic conditions Ultimately, motivation and other factors in supporting hard work in the field of work can be one of the advantages of why many people want to work as office employees and others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
opine that getting a gift from the works that we do is the greatest motivator for
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hardworks
in modern
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office
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this essay discusses why
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people
are competing in receive of a promotion and what factors influence it.

In the modern world like this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are competing to achieve something they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
,
as well
as in the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
are the things that cause the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
sector to grow
rapidly
to produce something.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
first
reason is the desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
something of value, such as money or a position. These two things are the main goals of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
out there,
for example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in wealth.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
besides
that there is recognition.
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many
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people
are race for promotions
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because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
recognition for the
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hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they have put in.
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
from lower positions such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
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hard
, do not go home, overtime,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they do not eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
recognition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they have made.

Besides
promotion in the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, the factors that motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to continue working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
out there, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from below average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
economic conditions, by working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the economic condition of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
besides
that, from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they have the ambition to elevate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
economic conditions

Ultimately
, motivation and other factors in supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be one of the advantages of why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
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IELTS essay Getting Promotions Are One Of The Biggest Motivators For Hard Work In The Modern Workplace

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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