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some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. others, however, say that this would have little affect on public health and that other measures are required. discuss both views and give your own opinion

some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. others, however, say that this would have little affect on public health and that other measures are required. discuss both views and give your own opinion LQe6
Some people believe that improving the sport infrastructure would have positive trend on national health. However, others claim that it would have insignificant result and that other methods should be implemented. I personally support the latter one and in the following paragraphs I will discuss both ideas. First of all, we should not forget about deprived communities and retired population who are not able to afford gyms or sport clubs in order to keep healthy fit. Developing local sport facilities could overwhelmingly influence their life habits and benefit health. For example, South Korea is the country with the longest life span among population and excellent health rates statistics. When I was in Seoul several years ago, I noticed that almost all districts have green parks equipped with sport infrastructure for all age ranges. Everyone has an opportunity to use it for free and parks are always full of visitors. On the other side, unfortunately, focusing only on being physically fit would not save us from health issues that population face nowadays. The most considerable influence we expose from low quality of food and environmental issues. Having no sport facilities could be altered by using bike instead of car or just walking around. But eating junk food or breathing polluted air would definitely have harmful result on our organism. That is why, local authorities should consider more complex solutions in order to solve health issues among citizens. In conclusion, sport infrastructure could be very beneficial for people who has no opportunity to go to gym and would develop healthy habits among population. However, government should implement initiatives that cover the whole range of health problems.
Some
people
believe that improving the
sport
infrastructure would have
positive
trend on national
health
.
However
, others claim that it would have insignificant result and that other methods should
be implemented
. I
personally
support the latter one and in the following paragraphs I will discuss both
ideas
.

First of all
, we should not forget about deprived communities and retired
population
who are not able to afford gyms or
sport
clubs in order to
keep
healthy fit. Developing local
sport
facilities could
overwhelmingly
influence their life habits and benefit
health
.
For example
, South Korea is the country with the longest life span among
population
and excellent
health
rates statistics. When I was in Seoul several years ago, I noticed that almost all districts have green parks equipped with
sport
infrastructure for all age ranges. Everyone has an opportunity to
use
it for free and parks are always full of visitors.

On the other side, unfortunately, focusing
only
on being
physically
fit would not save us from
health
issues that
population
face nowadays. The most considerable influence we expose from low quality of food and environmental issues. Having no
sport
facilities could
be altered
by using bike
instead
of car or
just
walking around.
But
eating junk food or breathing polluted air would definitely have harmful result on our organism.
That is
why, local authorities should consider more complex solutions in order to solve
health
issues among citizens.

In conclusion
,
sport
infrastructure could be
very
beneficial for
people
who
has
no opportunity to go to gym and would develop healthy habits among
population
.
However
,
government
should implement initiatives that cover the whole range of
health
problems.
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IELTS essay some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. others, however, say that this would have little affect on public health and that other measures are required. discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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