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some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. others, however, say that this would have little affect on public health and that other measures are required. discuss both views and give your own opinion

some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. others, however, say that this would have little affect on public health and that other measures are required. discuss both views and give your own opinion 7OX3
It is argued that it could be possible to make significant good changes in a social health by providing more sports services, whilst others believe that this would have measly impact on people’s health and there is a need in some other solutions. This essay agrees that increasing the number of sports facilities would be beneficial for citizen’s health, as sports availability allows to make positive health choices and leads a healthy lifestyle. This essay will discuss both points of view. It is clear that development of sports services encourages more people to try active and healthy lifestyle. The more sports facilities are available the more people are involved in healthy sports. For instance, few parents have an opportunity to get their children to sports centers after work hours through the daily traffic jam. Furthermore, scholars don’t want to waste their time on the long way to the sports club. There should be widespread allocations of different sports services in the urban and rural areas. This could cut down the average rush hour commutes and allow more citizens to be involved in sports. However, many believe that the mentioned measures would have little effect on public health and additional attempts and activity are necessary. For example, healthy food is healthy nation. There should be more strict state regulations for GMO products and unhealthy fast food. Moreover, the Government has to launch educational programs on healthy nutrition for their citizens. In conclusion, while some people believe that sports activities play a major role in the healthy life of population, others argue that that wouldn’t enough to keep ourselves healthy. There should be additional measures.
It
is argued
that it could be possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in a social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by providing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
services, whilst others believe that this would have measly impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and there is a need in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other solutions. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities would be beneficial for citizen’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
availability
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
choices and leads a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle. This essay will discuss both points of view.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
services encourages more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to try active and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities are available the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
For instance
, few parents have an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
centers after work hours through the daily traffic jam.
Furthermore
, scholars don’t want to waste their time on the long way to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
club. There should be widespread allocations of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
services in the urban and rural areas. This could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the average rush hour commutes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
more citizens to
be involved
in sports.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that the mentioned measures would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effect on public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and additional attempts and activity are necessary.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
food is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
nation. There should be more strict state regulations for GMO products and unhealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
launch educational programs on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
nutrition for their citizens.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities play a major role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life of population, others argue
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
wouldn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
ourselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
. There should be additional measures.
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IELTS essay some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. others, however, say that this would have little affect on public health and that other measures are required. discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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