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In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kind of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kind of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? oPqg
There is no denying that families considered as one of the main Pillars supporting societies. both structure and function of its members, however, are subject to some changes due to recent social developments. This essay briefly introduces the transformations come on and elaborate how families as well as societies are positively affected. There has been several structural changes within families. Shifting from a nuclear family to a more balanced one, inter alia, might be the most obvious one. Mothers have been playing a more highlighted role, particularly in the economy of the family. Furthermore, double income families have more capabilities to support their children's education and welfare. This shift would also constructively affect the society, leading to a substantial growth in gross domestic production. A point to make is that many western families have had two sources of income since industrialization, and it has led to a stronger economy. This positive structural transformation strengthens both families and societies. In addition, the central role of parents have seen some alterations. Nowadays, children are playing a more tangible role in their families. For instance, in most of contemporary families, children would probably take an active part in decision-making. This trait can allow them to learn and acquire decision-making skills. Eventually, This productive availability will further enable individuals in their future social life. Therefore, the very benefit of this conversion would positively contribute to individual's success. In conclusion, structural shift from a nuclear family to a more balanced one, where mothers would also contribute to the family, as well as functional transformation in children's role in decision-making or among positive dimensions of recent changes. I believe the role and function of family members would the possibly exposed to more revolutionary transformation in the future.
There is no denying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
considered as one of the main Pillars supporting societies.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
both
structure and function of its members,
however
, are subject to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
due to recent social developments. This essay
briefly
introduces the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transformations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
on and elaborate how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
as well
as societies are
positively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

There has been several structural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Shifting from a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to a more balanced one, inter alia, might be the most obvious one. Mothers have been playing a more highlighted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
,
particularly
in the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Furthermore
, double income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have more capabilities to support their children's education and welfare. This shift would
also
constructively
affect the society, leading to a substantial growth in gross domestic production. A point to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have had two sources of income since industrialization, and it has led to a stronger economy. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
structural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transformation
strengthens both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and societies.

In addition
, the central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
of parents
Possible agreement error
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
alterations. Nowadays, children are playing a more tangible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
For instance
, in most of contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, children would
probably
take an active part in decision-making. This trait can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to learn and acquire decision-making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Eventually
, This productive availability will
further
enable individuals in their future social life.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
benefit of this conversion would
positively
contribute to individual's success.

In conclusion
, structural shift from a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to a more balanced one, where mothers would
also
contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
as well
as functional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transformation
in children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in decision-making or among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
dimensions of recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
and function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members would the
possibly
exposed to more revolutionary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transformation
in the future.
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IELTS essay In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kind of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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