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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Brgm
It is common knowledge that playing sports is very useful, however, some people think that it is not enough, and allege increase a sports opportunities can improve the health of populations. I believe that sport is one of the most important activities in our life and if you want to do it, you will definitely find a facility, without special efforts. Firstly, for most of the people doing sport is not necessary equipment. For example, to work out at home you need only TV. You can just push-ups, sit-ups and jump. For jogging, you need only sneakers and fresh air. However, for doing professional sports you have to have a trainer and usually a special place. A swimmer needs to swim in a swimming pool, a tennis player needs to play at a tennis court. As opposed to lovers, professional sportsmen always work for a result and sometimes waste their health. For example, a lot of football players have a disability after 40-45 years. Therefore, I consider that to be healthy you don't need to do a different kind of sports or have special facilities. You can do some gymnastics in the morning and work out twice a week. It has to be enough. In conclusion, it is better to have sports facilities, to people could try different sports. Who knows, maybe some of them will be champions. But for the majority, have facilities to do a different kind of sports is nothing matter. They will never visit these places and use this equipment.
It is common knowledge that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, and allege increase a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
opportunities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the health of populations. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
activities in our life and if you want to do it, you will definitely find a facility, without special efforts.

Firstly
, for most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is not necessary equipment.
For example
, to work out at home you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
TV. You can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
push-ups, sit-ups and jump. For jogging, you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sneakers and fresh air.

However
, for doing professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have a trainer and
usually
a special place. A swimmer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to swim in a swimming pool, a tennis player
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to play at a tennis court. As opposed to lovers, professional sportsmen always work for a result and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
waste their health.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
football players have a disability after 40-45 years.

Therefore
, I consider that to be healthy you don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to do a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or have special facilities. You can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gymnastics in the morning and work out twice a week. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

In conclusion
, it is better to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Who knows, maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them will be champions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for the majority, have facilities to do a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is nothing matter. They will never visit these places and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this equipment.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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