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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required BKrj
To improve public health a number of people suggest that sports have the vital role to play this is extremely debatable matter. Now it is said that a healthy mind lives in healthy body however a number of people said sports facilitate not sufficient for public health and there are numerous other way to improve public health. In my opinion we can create environment, we can encourage youth to take sport membership consequently they understand value of fitness. A number of people say sports is not an only way to improve public health there are may way environmental effected. In our country weather has changed most of the people are fitness freak on the contrary they're suffering from health problem due to the fact air quality are extremely polluted, drinking water is not clean, and environment is supremely unhygienic. These are a number of major factor also responsible for public health. We should focus on these facts. In our country a plethora of people live in under shadow due to the fact they don't have proper home they drink polluted water they eat unclean food. And a number of people lives in industrial area there they can't take good air due to the fact of air pollution. And if I talk about my home city Delhi its immensely polluted and unhygienic. here you can see so much traffic and many vehicle. In my point view both are important aspect we have to promote sports activity and we have to focus on our environment
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have the vital role to play this is
extremely
debatable matter.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
it
is said
that a healthy mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in healthy body
however
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilitate not sufficient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and there are numerous other way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In my opinion we can create environment, we can encourage youth to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
membership
consequently
they understand value of fitness. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is not an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
there are may way environmental effected.

In our country weather has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are fitness freak
on the contrary
they're suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problem due to the fact air quality are
extremely
polluted, drinking water is not clean, and environment is
supremely
unhygienic. These are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of major factor
also
responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. We should focus on these facts.

In our country a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in under shadow due to the fact they don't have proper home they drink polluted water they eat unclean food. And a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in industrial area there they can't take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
air due to the fact of air pollution. And if I talk about my home city Delhi its
immensely
polluted and unhygienic.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
here
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much traffic and
Possible agreement error. The noun vehicle seems to be countable; consider using: "many vehicles".
many vehicle
.

In my point view both are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
activity and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on our environment
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IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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