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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Agree or disagree

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Agree or disagree APN1n
It is justifiable that dweller's health has been always a sophisticated issues in each country and numerous method to enhance public health have been done by government. Some people are convinced that extending sports facillities is the most effective ways to improve health of citizens. From my own point of view, this method may be practical, but there are better ones, It is undoubted that constructing more sport facilities actually can improve public health. Serveral sport facilities such as gymasiums, swimming pools, health spas are constructed consequently people can easy access to various kind of that facilities, they are more likely to make exercise a regular part of their lives. In the other word, if gyms or health path are near citizen's accommodations, people will not waste time or cost of going to spacific areas to do exercise; thus it will trigger residents in doing some exercise and they can avoid some diseased like obesity, diabetes, so on. However, I believe that increasing the number of sport facilities is not the best way. First of all, public awareness about the role of exercising in health can affect on improve health of communities. Authorities can organize numerous health education compaign to opend mind of the public about having a healthy lifestyle. When people have awareness about healthy lifestyle, they can self-conscious exercise as well as have a healthy diet. Hence, all of these are also vital factors to improving health. As well as that improving living environment is an effective ways to enhance health of communities. Numerous people have lung or respiratory problem due to water contamination or air pollution. In addition, there are number of deathly virus via air and water. Therefore, reducing water and air pollution will help improve public health certainly. In conclusion, while there is a school of though that adding more sport facilities is a good way to enhance health of citizens. I am opinion that, there are many superior methods such as raising people’s awareness about health lifestyle or increasing living environment
It is justifiable that dweller's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
has been always a sophisticated
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "issue"?
issues
in each country and numerous method to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
have
been done
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are convinced
that extending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake found.
facillities
is the most effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of citizens. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
point of view, this method may be practical,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are better ones,

It
is undoubted
that constructing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities actually can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Serveral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
gymasiums
, swimming pools,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
spas
are constructed
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can easy access to various kind of that facilities, they are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
a regular part of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In the other word, if gyms or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
path are near citizen's accommodations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not waste time or cost of going to
Possible spelling mistake found.
spacific
areas to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
;
thus
it will trigger residents in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
exercise and
they can avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseased like obesity, diabetes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

However
, I believe that increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities is not the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
awareness about the role of exercising in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
can
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of communities. Authorities can organize numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education
Possible spelling mistake found.
compaign
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
opend
mind of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
about having a healthy lifestyle. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have awareness about healthy lifestyle, they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
can self-conscious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
as well
as have a healthy diet.
Hence
, all of these are
also
vital factors to improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
As well
as that improving living environment is an effective
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "way"?
ways
to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of communities. Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have lung or respiratory problem due to water contamination or air pollution.
In addition
, there are number of deathly virus via air and water.
Therefore
, reducing water and air pollution will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
certainly
.

In conclusion
, while there is a school of though that adding more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of citizens. I am opinion that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
superior methods such as raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
lifestyle or increasing living
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
environment
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IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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