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Big salary is much important than job satisfaction.do you agree or disagree.

Big salary is much important than job satisfaction. Jpj5
Money is more important and essential part of today's era. people think that higher income is beneficial and vital than the satisfaction of job. i disagree with given statement. First of all, salary gives people happiness and they work 10 to 20 hours for high salary. For example, people work their office around 9 hours they are fill unhealthy or nervous because of much more time. They work only for higher income but not think about their health so they become a ill or fill weakness and after that they not completed by focus or with hardwork. Moreover, job satisfaction is very important because of people do with their heart. For instance, person who go office daily for their work and they filled with excitement while, couldn't satisfaction of job they do only for their money purpose. When everybody work for their side they do properly, however without any satisfaction it is done for money that is very harmful. To conclude, people do their work from satisfaction it is necessary. i believe that, people work from there satisfaction is more vital than the money purpose.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and essential part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that higher income is beneficial and vital than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
of job.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
disagree with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, salary gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
happiness and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
10 to 20 hours for high salary.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
their office around 9 hours they are fill unhealthy or nervous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of much more time. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for higher income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they become
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
ill or fill weakness and after that they not completed by focus or with
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
.

Moreover
, job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do with their heart.
For instance
, person who go office daily for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they filled with excitement while, couldn't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
of job they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
purpose. When everybody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for their side they do
properly
,
however
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
it
is done
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
it is necessary.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more vital than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
purpose.

IELTS essay Big salary is much important than job satisfaction.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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