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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others, however,say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

To improve public health some people suggest that the sports can play a vital role. By increasing the number of sports facilities we can create an environment of courage, sportsmanship. The minds of youth can also be directed towards healthy activities through sports promotion. So this essay has tried to cover both of mentioned views and then will suggest one of the best strotegies to increase health indicators. However, some people believe that sports facilities alone are not sufficient to improve public health. There are many socio-economic factors that gravely affect the public health, such as water and sanitation, rabid population and pollution, lack of hygienic manners and social unrest. These factors need to be addressed to improve overall public health. In my opinion, in a country like Pakistan, where people are living under the “shadow of fear” due to prevailing terrorism in the country we need a diverse approach. Speaking of flourishing poverty, inflation, and unemployment – availing sports facilities could be a luxury. And then there is a vast majority of areas deprived of basic health facilities, where one doctor is available for thousands of people. Sports can play a role but only if people are content with their lives. To sum up, There is a dire need for government to take solid actions to improve the general well-being of the people. It must improve the security situation in the country to give peace of mind to the public.
To
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improve
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public
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health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
suggest that the
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sports
can play a vital role. By increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities we can create an environment of courage, sportsmanship. The minds of youth can
also
be directed
towards healthy activities through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
promotion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this essay has tried to cover both of mentioned views and then will suggest one of the best
Possible spelling mistake found.
strotegies
to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
indicators.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities alone are not sufficient to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
factors that
gravely
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, such as water and sanitation, rabid population and pollution, lack of hygienic manners and social unrest. These factors need to
be addressed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
health.

In my opinion, in a country like Pakistan, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living under the “shadow of fear” due to prevailing terrorism in the country we need a diverse approach. Speaking of flourishing poverty, inflation, and unemployment
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
availing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities could be a luxury. And then there is a vast majority of areas deprived of basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities, where one doctor is available for thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
can play a role
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are content with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To sum up, There is a dire need for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to take solid actions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the general well-being of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the security situation in the country to give peace of mind to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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