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Some people say that the beer store to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facility father's however say that this would have little effort on public hill and the that other measures are recorded is cardboard is yolanda is your own opinion

Some people say that the beer store to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facility father's however say that this would have little effort on public hill and the that other measures are recorded is cardboard is yolanda is your own opinion gYVLl
A group of people opines that increasing health quality requires physical activities. Consequently, if the sports facilities improve, people may be getting dividends from it by playing games. In contrast, others argue that it also has tiny negative influences on public fitness. In this essay, I will talk about both Avenue and a look at some relevant points along with precise examples and also deliver my verdict. To begin with, the optimistic influences of this notion. This is because, being a healthy person, people have to perform physical tasks, which entails energy. Otherwise, their bones would be fragile and also causes by several diseases. Therefore, if the sports facilities are developing, people will have opportunities to attach with them not only develop their body robustly but also allow them to release their stress as well as turn them on, helping them to bring their full concentration on their official works. Moreover, for students, it is an inevitable subject to enrol with fun activities besides their study. For example, a recent survey manifestation that those individuals have been performing outdoor sports from an initial stage would be more enthusiastic with their subsequent work and the immune systems of the body also be more stronger. On the other hand, although it has a significant number of welfares, it is a challenging task for the populace, particularly for those who perform official tasks, to play any kind of vigorous games. Even if they play, they may be falling injure. Additionally, without having an excellent meditation system and taking hygienic edibles, it is unlikelihood to keep their fitness strong. Hence, become a healthy person, it requires both healthy food and good treatments. To illustrate, playing these games need power of the body, which comes from the foods and adequate rest. To conclude, though sports tend to be a crucial concept for ourselves, it does not mean that we do not need to focus on other compulsory things. consequently developing our bodies and keeping us healthy we need to be aware of them.
A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opines that increasing health quality requires physical activities.
Consequently
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may be getting dividends from it by playing games.
In contrast
, others argue that it
also
has tiny
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences on public fitness. In this essay, I will talk about both Avenue and a look at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant points along with precise examples and
also
deliver my verdict.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the optimistic influences of this notion. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
person,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
perform physical tasks, which entails energy.
Otherwise
, their bones would be fragile and
also
causes by several diseases.
Therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities are developing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have opportunities to attach with them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
robustly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
as well
as turn them on, helping them to bring their full concentration on their official works.
Moreover
, for students, it is an inevitable subject to enrol with fun activities
besides
their study.
For example
, a recent survey manifestation that those individuals have been performing outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
from an initial stage would be more enthusiastic with their subsequent work and the immune systems of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
also
be
Use only "stronger" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more stronger
.

On the other hand
, although it has a significant number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
welfares
, it is a challenging task for the populace,
particularly
for those who perform official tasks, to play any kind of vigorous games. Even if they play, they may be falling injure.
Additionally
, without having an excellent meditation system and taking hygienic edibles, it is unlikelihood to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their fitness strong.
Hence
, become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
person, it requires both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
treatments. To illustrate, playing these games need power of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the foods and adequate rest.

To conclude
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
tend to be a crucial concept for ourselves, it does not mean that we do not need to focus on other compulsory things.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
consequently
developing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
and keeping us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
we need to be aware of them.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the beer store to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facility father's however say that this would have little effort on public hill and the that other measures are recorded is cardboard is yolanda is your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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