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Some people say that technologies like mobile phones are destroying social interactions To want extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people say that technologies like mobile phones are destroying social interactions To want extent v. 1
In recent times, several countries have started broadcasting criminal trials through a visual platform such as, television to the wider public. In this essay I will discuss about the benefits and down back of this trend. To embark on, this activity affects a person’s life negatively. When trials broadcasting in television the face of criminal is shown on the scene, people try to corner not only the convict as well as their family member. That will be very hard for them. Furthermore, when the prisoner release from the jail after completion of given sentence, he cannot face public or get a job even he was rehabilitated. It will be hard to living a decent life in society. As well as, watching the criminal procedure from the television it could be impacting their psychology and they are trying to copy that crime. On the contrary, Public can learn a lot about the court proceedings and legal system of country by watching television in their home. . In other word, they are know that there is no perfect crime all criminals must be punished. As a result, it helps to reduce crime rate of a country. This tendency can be creating a better peaceful environment among neighbourhood. As an exemplification, the United States government reported a 15% decline in the wrongdoing among youngsters in 2017 due to the televising of the law courts. This is because they are broadcast for a big number of people of different education In conclusion, In conclusion, despite there will be some disagreements from the people, this trend still benefit both the society and the government. I strongly believe that demerit effect cannot prevail benefit to broadcast court justice on Television.
In recent times, several countries have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
broadcasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
trials through a visual platform such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
to the wider public. In this essay I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
benefits and down back of this trend.

To embark on, this activity affects a person’s life
negatively
. When trials broadcasting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
the face of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is shown
on the scene,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
try to corner not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the convict
as well
as their family member. That will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them.
Furthermore
, when the prisoner release from the jail after completion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
sentence, he cannot face public or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job even he
was rehabilitated
. It will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to living a decent life in society.
As well
as, watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
procedure from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
it could be impacting their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
psychology and
they are trying to copy that crime.

On the contrary
, Public can learn a lot about the court proceedings and legal system of country by watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in their home.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In other word, they are know that there is no perfect crime all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be punished
.
As a result
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crime rate of a country. This tendency can be creating a better peaceful environment among
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
. As an exemplification, the United States
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
reported a 15% decline in the wrongdoing among youngsters in 2017 due to the televising of the law courts. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are broadcast for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
education


In conclusion
,
In conclusion
, despite there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreements from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, this trend
still
benefit both the society and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. I
strongly
believe that demerit effect cannot prevail benefit to broadcast court justice on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that technologies like mobile phones are destroying social interactions To want extent v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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