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Some people say that success is ‘10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work’. What extent do you agree ?

Some people say that success is ‘10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work’. What extent do you agree? 3MaMN
When it comes to the problem of success, an abundance of perspectives have been put forth. A section of individuals argues that tough working plays an essential role to achieve a great accomplishment, whereas the rest believe that ability is an inseparable part of successful outcome. From my point of view, I am convinced that the outlook of the initial group is more plausible while the drawback also satisfies these. The prize of hard work is a valuable achievement. Follow the citation of Thomas Edison “ Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration”. In addition, the people who give a great effort will defeat natural ability without persistence. Due to this fact, even genius as well as inventors who tried out always and never stop trying, and it is not essential that how often falling tough those always make an attempt until accomplish their objective. For personal experience, my aunt is one of the athletes in the field of martial arts, thus I have opportunities to witness various tournaments. As a result, in 2017, she won the gold medal in The World Competition and was rewarded a great deal of public praise. However, the price of prosperity is that strive to her full-potential to practice and self-disciplined performance to attain her goal. On the other hand, talent gives you a start, on the contrary solid work makes you finish the race. Therefore, if the capacity combination with diligence will come to fruition. Furthermore, that god gave one a natural gift which outperforms others is a fortune, yet those who possess lots of remarkable ability such as critical thinking, linguistic speech and sensibleness produce a wise decision. Nevertheless, whoever is not capable of being a winner if they lack motivation, those who have an opinion, vision and ambition but that would take ninety-nine percent hard work to make it happen. In conclusion, talent is honorable but strong work is crucial. Additionally, we will lack attainment in any field that only thanks to talent, both of capability and studiousness should be combined to a precious result.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the problem of success, an abundance of perspectives have
been put
forth. A section of individuals argues that tough working plays an essential role to achieve a great accomplishment, whereas the rest believe that ability is an inseparable part of successful outcome. From my point of view, I
am convinced
that the outlook of the initial group is more plausible while the drawback
also
satisfies these.

The prize of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is a valuable achievement. Follow the citation of Thomas Edison
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration”.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
give a great effort will defeat natural ability without persistence. Due to this fact, even genius
as well
as inventors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
tried out always and never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
trying, and it is not essential that how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
falling tough those always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an attempt until accomplish their objective. For personal experience, my aunt is one of the athletes in the field of martial arts,
thus
I have opportunities to witness various tournaments.
As a result
, in 2017, she won the gold medal in The World Competition and
was rewarded
a great deal of public praise.
However
, the price of prosperity is that strive to her full-potential to practice and self-disciplined performance to attain her goal.

On the other hand
, talent gives you a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
,
on the contrary
solid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you finish the race.
Therefore
, if the capacity combination with diligence will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to fruition.
Furthermore
, that god gave one a natural gift which outperforms others is a fortune,
yet
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
possess lots of remarkable ability such as critical thinking, linguistic speech and sensibleness produce a wise decision.
Nevertheless
, whoever is not capable of being a winner if they lack motivation, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have an opinion, vision and ambition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that would take ninety-nine percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it happen.

In conclusion
, talent is honorable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is crucial.
Additionally
, we will lack attainment in any field that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thanks to talent, both of capability and studiousness should
be combined
to a precious result.
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IELTS essay Some people say that success is ‘10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work’. What extent do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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